pick-up lines

         I've heard many a pick-up line in my day. .many!...some are so corny it's not even funny!...'i think I know you from some where'...yea right!..if you really know me you won't 'think' you know me from somewhere!...i have some of my own cos i got game being a certified flirt and all..my alter ego loves to flirt paa!she loves it like she loves crackling(that's wele to my native people)!
       'I like your shoes' always works for me..ofcos they have to be banging shoes worth noticing and commenting on..I've got a shoe fetish..mine is borderline creepy!..it's like having a fix when I wana get high..shoegasm is what i call it!...I'll get the urge out of the blue...place my feet in a pair of shoes..admire myself in the mirror and viola!....it's shoegasm time!...heheheheh...works every damn time!...try it!but you'll have to be a little mad like I am to really get there!..all of us are a little mad anyway..it is what it is..there i go digressing ..again!..*rolling my eyes*
        So I see the guy with wicked shoes on and i innocently(*chuckle *!) make a passing comment ..e.g ,'nice shoes'!..and ofcos the guy'll respond..everytime!.if he were a woman he would've preened like a peacock!.then before you know it he has taken over the convo though i started it!..and he will ask for my number...smh...I like men's accessories. .watches ,bangles/bracelets,belts,rings...I wear some..even boxers sometimes..ssshhhhh,don't tell no one! ...so if I see a nice watch or summin on a fly dude I'll use that as my entry point and make my move!...my fellow flirts know it's a harmless trait and we do it for some secret guilty pleasure. ..unless you wana go further then that one dierr ebe your own matter oo!
             I just do it for kicks. ...I sometimes almost get into trouble cos the other person (the victim..lol) thinks I'm really checking them out and expect more..thanks to the stars I'm able to wriggle my way out of it..*phew*!....the game gets smoother as the climb gets tougher..hahahahahha....!
           But my guys,  u should up your game cos I know using pickup lines on women should be 'picking up' lines...what good is a pickup line if there's no picking up?!...'if a pickup line doesn't get you the intended woman is that one too a pick-up line? (shoutouts to Ebony wai !)....try being bold and forward..women like that..I'll tell you for free...' hey there!I think you're beautiful. .can I get to know u?'.....or 'that's a nice purse you've got there..what brand is it?'..women know when you're being shady. ..they can smell it like BO on a trotro mate!...be genuine and real and sincere...when a woman sees a potential catch she's praying that he won't say something stupid to ruin everything..I'm sorry but first impression really does count in these matters. .the braggarts are the worst kind...who wants to  hear about how much your shoes cost...certainly not me!.I've got my own eyes and can tell when stuff are expensive,or not!..thank you very much!..I own this and that...whether it's true or not I don't wana know!....aargh!
         How can u see a woman you like and say 'a beautiful woman like u shouldn't be standing in the hot sun'!.....so the ugly ones should be in the sun,eh?..so it's not like you care about me as a person..It's not like you're practicing chivalry...it's not like you would give a lift to me if i were ugly..if it were up to u I'll bake to crisp in that scorching sun..like my favourite crackling! ..so your pick up line is just cos I'm 'beautiful'....but then beauty is in the eye of the beholder so who knows exactly what he's seeing. .or thinking!
              Him:..'It must have hurt'...me:'huh?'.....him:when you fell out of the sky?'..me:' to where?'...him:'to earth!' ..me:'i see!'..i give out my fake chuckle,roll my eyes in my mind ofcos and walk off!....like seriously!..who does that? !!...listen to this one....him:'hi'..me;'hello'....him:'don't you know me?'..me:'huh'...him;'hoh ,is it not your mum who is the caterer (twi -brofo!)?'....me:'eheh ,you know my mum so that translates into me knowing u?'...him:'oh,don't be angry,i just like u!'....why the hell didn't u just come right out and say so instead of putting me thru this charade?! ...I could go on and on about the corny pickup lines I've been subjected to mehn...it's an atrocity!
           Here's another one....I'm dressed up in my exercise gear going for speedwalking and someone stops me and asks..' are u going jogging ?'..or 'where are u going'?....i reply;'I'm going for a wedding'!...aargh!.... .some of these dudes can't be any more obvious! ...be direct..you can try being subtle but clear in your intentions....try 'i like u,can i buy u a drink sometime?'....sometimes that might earn you a slap or an insult cos you could be out of her league or she might be in some kinda mood(you know how we do!) but keep on keeping on!.lol....also test the waters and learn to 'read' body language...trust me when a woman is not into you,you would know!..her disinterest will come off of her skin like some heat wave...her pores would exude her disdain like some 'akpeteshie' fumes off of a drunkard's body!....that shit is deadly mehn!
            If you can't be creative with pickup lines just start by being friends with the person....and hopefully it will be smooth sailing then on! ....I'm out...lovely reading! ...shalom