Sunday 31 December 2017

the cry of the Xmas chicken


           I #remember when we came to Ghana so many years ago during the Liberian #war wahala which had Ghana taking in refugees ..so lots of #people  automatically thought we were Liberian refugees or foreigners but certainly not the Ghanaians we were!...they said we didn't 'look' Ghanaian (whatever that meant!)...we didn't know a #word of twi (my mother tongue) though ,nor any other local Ghanaian dialects..just the English that my dad and mum had raised us on whiles growing up..no one told us why we came 'back' to Ghana. .I say 'back' cos I and my older brother(he was 2) went to Nigeria #quite young(I was a baby) but my four other siblings at the time were born  in a place called Lokoja in Kwara State..at the #time we came to Ghana we were to young to #understand anything..I rember we took an aeroplane though!...lol...we got to Ghana late in the evening..we were confused cos it was very clear we were in a new environment..#people were speaking a strange #language and were looking at us like we were some alien specie!...the next day the first #local Ghanaian meal we were welcomed with was............. can u guess?waakye ofcos! .. hahahhaha...I #guess that's when my addiction to that orgasmic meal was born!..omg,I loooovvee loooovvee looovveee me some hot waakye...with all the 'accoutrements ' of cos...the browned rice and beans ,soft wele (crackling ), gari (fried ,dry ,powdery corn dough),talia (boiled spaghetti),fried fish,fried meat,boiled egg,fried plantain and dry salad..you have all that on your plate and you're in heaven .. literally!!
          For #selfish reasons  I think this meal should be made the official end-of-year  tradional dish instead of the #rice and gravy and fried chicken meal I was subjected to every xmas during my childhood days!..*wink wink*...Xmas was(still is!) synonymous with chicken...Xmas time was when #chicken sold like hot cake and I didn't  get it,even at that age ...all the streets surrounding the #market place would be lined up with giant makeshift #hencoops by poultry farmers trying to make some profit off the seasonal booming business..how did that trend start anyway?anyhome u visited during this period served the same doggone meal!.. rice, chicken,gravy and soda (affectionately called 'minerals' by everyone,in Ghana at least!),pieces of cake and some buscuits!! ...it usually happened in the homes of the #average citizen so those foods were like #gold to them... sometimes three kids had to share a bottle of soda ...luckily the bottle has demacations on it so we will mark each portion and after u drank yours u gave it to the next person..and woe betides you if you drank into someone else's portion! Why didn't we ever just use cups to share the drink and spare us the stress!...I guess #kids would be kids!
             And Xmas was never complete without your bronya shada! ..ei ,mum always got some bright rokporkpor (nylon) fabric and #every one got to sew her bronya (Xmas ) dress..mum always chose the #style ofcos..what did we know!..it was always a style with puffed sleeves,gathered at the waist with a skirt that ballooned to your knees or ankles depending on how much fabric there was!...then there was the belt which you would tie behind your back in a bow.. chale,dont go there koraa..don't forget the #shoes!.. usually white or black with buckles..maybe 2inched heels...and you had to wear long white socks with them..aargh!those socks that had a flowery 'veil' at the 'edges'..*cringe*...if you're not lucky you'll get a #cap in that same fabric to go with the ensemble... hahahahhaah...I've always hated that rokporkpor fabric since those days but back then it was what was available and xmas was such a big deal that if you didnt have a dress nor even went to church on Xmas day  it was like #somebody ripped your beating heart out of your chest and stepped on it!..I rember one time after I'd gone through the whole process of  getting a new dress and laid it out ready for bronya church the next day I got #malaria(well most illnesses in Ghana are automatically self-diagnosed as malaria!) that night... so I didn't take part in the Xmas celebrations and I wanted to die!..today I don't even bother doing anything during this period cos I simply don't see the point..i dont buy nothing..i dont #sew nothing..i dont visit nobody..i dont invite nobody over..i just live each day like any other day..i always say everyday is 'xmas' for me..I do what I have to do on whichever day I want and not wait for the end of the year!..so much pressure is put on #people who can't afford it,to be a part of a traditon they don't even understand. .pressure especially on the kids who feel left out if they can't celebrate it cos the choice was made for them...if you didn't go to church on 25th and 31st Dec you're 'branded' a pagan...the 31st Dec allnight service in the churches is a tradional affair in Ghana chale!...when I started 'looking' at this whole confusion differently I stopped going to church totally but on the 31st I'll go to church to usher in the new year with God ....eventually I stopped doing that too cos I felt like a heel!...seeing as the next day on the 1st January I'll be at the night club dancing 'with the devil'.. atleast that's how Christians saw it..my being weaned off the whole bronya thingy was not drastic but it was gradual and firm..one day I was  being consumed by it ,the #next day I was out of it!
             What does Xmas really mean to people?is it a time to #chew fried chicken and strut your new clothes and shoes and go to church?is it a time to fill kids with the illusion of celebrating the birth of Christ, as Christians put it?what does Xmas even mean?did someone really die on 25th December some 1000s of yrs ago  to be celebrated every year?do people really believe it in their hearts or are just going along with everything  cos they were introduced to it just like I was?..some churches have taken the 'celebrations' up another notch actually acting out the birth of Christ and #everything else...they'll be wearing funeral clothes to church during Easter when he 'dies' and will wear white when he 'resurrects'!..that doesn't sit well with me cos I wonder what the point of repeating that charade every year is!..I know the 'chrifes' will crucify (pun intended!) me for saying this but hey,how I feel is how I feel!.
        It's #weird to me cos it's one bible but each church interpretes it differently from the others.. very confusing,eh ?!when I was way younger, between, I think 9and 15yrs of age,I was 'steeped' in the chrife 'euphoria'...I used to write to a Christian outfit called SOON...you answered questions on the bible and when you passed you got certificates and bibles as your prize ...and I got a lot of them!..alot !. .I went to Sunday school..acted in all the #religious plays..got baptized and graduated to the adult church...I even worked hard to get into the adult choir and after I got in I quit not long after!..the whole pressure to be in church without understanding why i was being there finally got to me i think!..it's just like the Xmas euphoria. .lots of people are celebrating it without knowing why and in the process putting so much pressure on themselves and others..
              What I #care about is we should be kind to one another. .it should come from the heart not just cos we are compelled to do it according to some church rules...there are lots of people who won't do things for people who ask them directly for help but will wait for Xmas to donate some things to an orphanage. .meanwhile the orphans don't even get the items..that's another convo for another day!..let's strive to be considerate of one another. .be kind..be safe whiles we are about to enter a new #year!.. welcome it with a good heart. .we welcome you #2018!!!..thanx for reading....#shalom #gaylesgifts

Wednesday 6 December 2017

GAYsm...yay or nah?

         JUST last week i called for an UBER and that meeting with the driver has generated a very #healthy intellectual #relationship between us...it's amazing how you meet all sorts of people in all kinds of #places..we have had very mind-stimulating and thought-provoking #conversations and it's such a very pleasant experience..coupla days ago he asked me what i thought about the legalization of GAYsm /LESBIANIsm, and of course i told him I'm a very open-minded person when it comes to these societal issues and wasn't for nor against it..but he persisted to know what i really thought just for 'argument's' sake.. so i asked  him what his thoughts were on the #topic..before I say what he said I'll let you #know what I told him and more!

              Lesbians and Gays are first of all #human beings with rights..just like you and I..before you get it twisted let me clear the air on something..I'm not Gay. .I'm straight as an arrow and I've never fancied my [same] sex..but I believe in the #rights of every human being and I hate it when people of some certain status feel they can prosecute other people who are in the minority 'zone';( if i should put it so)...already Gays(I'll use this to represent both #lesbians and homosexuals) feel very confused with their sexuality that's why a lot of them 'hide in the closet'...those who fully explore their sexuality and interest in the opposite sex take a huge risk .we call it 'coming out of the closet'....they get stigmatized,persecuted..some even get killed...how does one's sexual preference affect the country?????!!!!!. .how does what one does in the comfort of their bedroom affect you?...the country is corrupt from leaders to children. .the police are robbing us blind...taking bribes like taking sweets from little kids. .#people are being raped in their own homes...a new  German friend I just made got  robbed and raped by four Ghanaian gunmen in her apartment!. .the government didn't do nothing about it!...is she not a #human being?doesn't rape constitute an offence?..it is criminal,right?..adds to the 'filth' covering up the country yet nothing was done!..and  you say wetin?!!!!!...abeg go remove the 'log in your eye' and come again!
          Lots of people are frustrated in this #world and the only way to vent their frustrations is to attack the vulnerable...gays don't have a voice because they've been made to feel inferior by the hypocritical hoi polloi...so even though nowadays they are gathering their #voice to defend themselves they are still a far cry from feeling understood and accepted..why should they have to defend themselves from anyone?Adam and Eve had kids and their kids had #sex with each other,right?incest is what it is called,right?cos how else do you explain the world's #population if we are to go by what the bible says?how did we grow to be so many?think about it! The country has a lot of issues killing its people!we don't have 'trust-able' potable water..you'll have to buy bottled #water...how many people can afford to drink that all the time?!!!.and those of us who mostly drink 'sachet water' half the time have to hope and pray it is at least distilled like we've been told it is!..no jobs:lots of graduates are home doing nothing!..' The devil finds work for idle hands', they say...'an idle  mind is the devil's workshop' ,I've heard! ...or something to that effect!..some Gays found themselves in the act because some rich #gays offered them some sort of respite from the  poverty eating up the country..the gap between the rich and poor is so wide..rich get richer and the poor get poorer..if you want to tackle an issue, don't just wade into it like some guy who has chased some lady for years  to no avail and suddenly her #vagina has been made available to him to 'chop'!..start from the what caused the fire and not the smoke..'there's no smoke without fire?'..no?
       These days you can't even be sure of one's sexual preference ...even the #heterosexual men only want to have anal sex with their heterosexual #female partners...go figure!..a woman called an #adult show one time to complain about her pastor husband who didn't want vaginal intercourse with her...only anal sex...so in this case what would the gay-bashers?.or what will the gays themselves say or feel?..another lady who'd be married for just two weeks wanted out cos her hubby wanted to only  mount her through her anus!..it's really a common thing these days. .so-called heterosexual couples don't find satisfaction with each other sexually.. either there's a third #party involved (ménagè a trois ) or they have some sort of swinging parties or they swap partners. ...even your husband or wife could be living a double life;could be having a gay partner on the side in secret;how would you know!..the list is endless..it's hard to know what goes on behind closed doors... people keep up appearances a lot because society dictates what is right or wrong...yet society is not always right.
       The biggest group attacking the gays are mostly Christians..  .which pisses me off cos the bible says sinners came to be saved. .who are you to do God's work for him??he even welcomed sinners, if the bible is to be believed!..gays didn't ask to be like that..if the #bible says everything that'll will happen has already been written why then can't they understand that gays didn't have a #choice in the matter?..it was written!..the Gays are flesh and blood and bones just like all the pedophiles,rapists,sodomites,misogynists(most African men fall short here and religion enables them by using that crappy 'submission' route!),transvestites, drag-queens, transgenders,eunuchs,etc .and they all 'go to church'..i see them all the time!and some of these people hate gays!..y3 nua ni s3n 3na aanbiin??..don't come at me with that bullshit of making only the gays [be] the worms !every one should be persecuted then !Christians are supposed to be an extension of the God they claim they worship. .they should welcome everyone into their bosom...'!he who's without sin should cast the first stone!'...rember ?!!!!..people do all kinds of shit when no-one is watching!..there are people raping animals too...sometimes it's a choice born out of some uncontrollable desire,some from coercion by other people who are already 'versed' in the act..they say God is love and loves everyone and the so-called chrifes will quote you all kinds of quotes from the bible on that score yet they don't show love to their fellow human beings!..selfishness is what is killing our people..greed ,'fakery','flakery',etc is the stench exuding from the country's pores... corruption, thievery,backbiting, is what is spewing out of the country's mouth like the fetid breath of a trotromate's...lie-ing, lie-ing,lie-ing is the pungent odor emanating from the country's holes like some serious body odor from a taxi driver's unwashed pits. ..eeeeeeeewwwww!!!. .the country is sick with a lot of rot festering underneath which is going to erupt #soon like a volcano of we don't stop our bullshit hypocrisy! You know what's funny,they think prayer would solve this menace..'give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and give to God what belongs to God '..there's a spiritual realm and there's a 'physical' world..let's not get it twisted..give the 'devil' a break and take responsibility for your #own actions,that's why you're on this planet in your human form!
        I welcome #everybody ..all of us have our faults and shortcomings ..it doesn't make it right just cos no-one is perfect but it importantly means we shouldn't feel superior to others who have different 'demons' and we shouldn't impose our views on #people and force them to conform to it!..it's really annoying!we've got prostitutes,wife-batterers, murderers,fraudsters who are walking around freely...if society is so concerned about 'cleaning' up the #country they should persecute all of these people...firstly though they should start by cleaning up the country of all the real filth that is engulfing the whole place!..the stench  from the garbage at the Kaneshie market, for example, is unbearable!...rid the country of all the plastics that's choking up every nook and cranny..the filth that is breeding all kinds of deadly diseases!..typhoid,cholera,malaria to name a few...close up all open drainage systems..then they can now tackle 'other' issues... .'cleanliness is next to godliness' is what the Christians say..but do they walk the talk?..since they don't have anything to do with their lives,they should go into each individual's bedrooms and tell them what to do with their own damn bodies!
        Now let me tell you what my uber-driver-turned-friend told me on this topic...he feels gaysm should be legalized cos first of all any practice that society needs to legalize means people have been practicing it for ages and it's not going anywhere and might be causing 'problems' in the country..he feels it will make the gays feel accepted and they wont #hide and practice it..most gays are forced to marry heterosexual partners to keep up the appearance of  the 'normalcy' society has dictated whiles  having their gay cravings satisfied in the closet ..being gay can be biological,psychological,or learned,or even just for fun..to each his own..when people don't feel stigmatized they will open up and do things the right way..being gay doesn't make you less of a human being..it doesn't take away from your capabilities as a person..lots of gays have contributed immensely to society and the world at large..Ellen Degeneres,Elton John,Gianni Versace are just a few to mention...everything we do has pros and cons but it should be the individual's choice on what they do in their privacy to themselves..!the so-called issues we think arise from homosexuality are rather heightened by the fact that it's done in 'hiding '.e.g AIDS...people have HIV/AIDS from other 'normal' angles...people having multiple heterosexual partners is one angle,sharing infected instruments,even having sex with one unknowingly  infected partner can get  you infected..people are naturally afraid of what they don't understand and reflexively just #attack it...it's ignorance at the highest peak!..my uber-driver also talks about a doctor who sodomized a 15yr old boy who had to have surgery to correct some anomalies on his anus and intestinal tract. .this is sick cos the boy was a minor and the doctor took advantage of him..this boy might also continue with this act,who knows! ..this goes to buttress my point that these things happen from different angles and influences..'#charity begins at home'..let's start from the homes...set #good examples for the younger ones and those yet to be born will have something positive to emulate when they get here..we will be long gone but at least we would have left some good legacy behind...thanx for reading..#shalom #gaylesgifts

Monday 20 November 2017

dancing in the 'rain'

              I really miss my #childhood!..and that's so weird cos when I was a #child I couldn't wait to be a grown-up and do grown-up stuff...like when I was fifteen #and went to a club(Glenn's nite club to be precise!) with two grownups;the bouncer gave me a cursory glance and bounced me!..lol...wasn't funny back then though! ...it took me a coupla years to #recover from the shame before I went back there again!...even though I was 15 in O level form 5 (my  class mates were abt 22yrs old),my IQ was way up there(i was really a smart kid) yet physically I looked like 11 and coupled with my 'breastless' chest I don't blame the bouncer for denying me entry!. ..I thought I had arrived...I had on some #short,  long-sleeved denim dress against #black tights with some two-inched blocked-heeled pointed shoes that I'm sure Sir Gordon Guggisberg (forgot the spelling..he was one of the first slave traders that came to Ghana I think..that history was taught me decades ago!..) left behind after he got his slaves and left Ghana ! ...my sisters used to tease me to no end about those shoes!..the huge buckles on the #shoes were what set them off!...what was I thinking back then?!!!...come to think of it,I wasn't thinking!
        The #lessons of life are always learnt through #irony..I needed to be an adult and experience life with its ups and down to appreciate my childhood..my childhood was simple and hard sometimes but it was fulfilling cos the rewards matched the #effort. .the rewards of your input were guaranteed..there were no doubts...it's like when your parents warned you not to put your hand in fire or you'll get burned..you put your hand in fire and you really got burned and the scars were there as a reminder!...reminds me of the times we didn't have electricity at home..my mum couldn't afford #power for a long time so we used 'bobo'(local kerosene lamps made from tins) at night..the fire from the bobo blackened the part of the wall where we continually kept it to light [en] up the house and till this day I've always hated the #smell of kerosene...one time I overfilled the bobo with #kerosene and as a result when I lit the wick the fire lit up the spillage on the cover ..my reflex action was to pick up the burning bobo to do what,till today I can't rember..what I rember though is I have a big scar on my left hand to remind me of that incident(with time though the scar has faded,thanx to Palmers Cocoabutter cream which I've used for years and years!)...when I picked the bobo up, the hot kerosene poured on my #hand and burned me something bad !!!..I had huge blisters that stiffened up and cracked with time...chale!!!...I #look back on that day with mixed feelings but it the nostalgia i feel is undeniable!
       I rember i didn't have basic necessities like chalewote (plastic flipflops to my western peeps!) so I was barefoot most of the time and after I started  owning some I never went barefoot again...I actually cringe now whenever I have to step on the floor barefoot....#childhoodthings.....I'm someone who's always liked nice things from childhood till now..ALWAYS...so back then when there was not much money I found ways to compromise... Kantamanto was my second home!!...those people who sold the secondhand clothes owe me plenty for all the rags I bought from them!..whenever I was shopping there and I glimpsed a friend I'll hide,forgetting we were in the same boat!..it was embarrassing for me to think someone would know I bought and wore second-hand clothes!..it was crazy mehn!..we were young and still learning and growing so who cared if we wore rags!..but i did!..sigh!i think i was too much in a hurry to become a grown-up so i could paint my nails and wear high-heeled shoes(funny I'm a grown-up now and can't even walk well in heels..go figure!..lol) and order other kids around and drive a car and be married and have kids and be happy..that was my idea of adulthood..everything was nice and problem-free..I have long left that illusion behind me!..serious disillusionment is what happened to me when i became an adult!...these days though kantamanto items are even more expensive than boutique stuff...don't ask me how I know cos I've moved on from that chapter koraa....lol
          My childhood days were when u owned just one #pair of panties and that was that!...chale the undie became so wornout and threadbare from overwashing and over-usage and ofcos the band over-stretched...I rember one time I had a suitor at my house #and we were chatting on our porch..yes,those days dating started early on in our years...so we were standing having a convo, or rather,he was smoothtalking me and I was just pretending to listen!..suddenly I felt my loose undie about to slide down my legs so 'reflexively' I quickly lifted up my leg onto the #porch stoop and pretended to straighten my dress whiles trying to subtly knot the band to secure it..but I think the guy was sharper than i thought and caught on! ... the idiot had to go open his big mouth and say 'why,are your panties loose??!!'..aargh! !...I went crimson with embarrassment and anger and ofcos walked him out!...anytime I rember that incident I crack up...hahahahhahaha...I think I was thirteen or so..writing about it now i have this sheepish grin on my face with the memory of it...i wish i could do it all over again!..wear my rags and walk #barefoot to go buy my waakye in my favorite metalic bowl!..that bowl was a car part i am very sure!..we had a fitting shop in our back yard so it makes sense..it was made of stainless #steel and very heavy and it was mine!...everyone at home called it the 'heavy pan'......oh,i miss my heavy pan!
         As an adult you don't always get what you're 'promised'...the work you 'put it' doesn't always get you the deserved or promised outcome...in fact 'expectations' are seen in a 'derogatory' light...even when someone tells you they will treat you in a certain way, when you protest cos you feel shortchanged you'll be made to feel like you're not being #reasonable. ..you can't get away with being selfish as an adult....#people will dislike you if you don't treat them the way they feel they should be treated. .so much so that if you treat them in your own way,though positively,they won't notice it cos it's not what they want...being an #adult is so hard...you're solely #responsible for your upkeep..grooming,lifestyle etc ..we should try and empathize when dealing with other people..and society is not helping any cos it has its own ideas of how people should act at certain ages and whatnot..and when you don't #conform you're branded as 'tooknow'(where do u think i got my pen-name!!) or something crazy like that..you have to be married at a certain age..when you marry you should have kids..if it is just one kid they will ask you when are you 'dropping' the next one..if you are successful #woman you automatically slept your way to the top!..if you are a rich man you killed your mum for 'ritual' money!..if you got raped it was your fault cos you had provocative #clothes on or you visited the rapist knowing he was gona ask for #sex!.society is made up of people like you and me,no?..so why should it dictate to us on how to live our lives?...stay in your lane..do you,I'll do me....
        Even when I was dating way back in my #youth it was simple and fun...still had drama but it was worth the investment. ..the grievances were few and far between..the misgivings were almost non-existent cos the dynamics were 'consistent'.....my first #boyfriend would bring me kelewele (fried spicy plantain chunks to my abrofos.) on his visits...sometimes meat pie and country milk chocolate drink..fried yam and chofi (a Ghanaian delicacy:fried turkey-tail) plus shitor (black pepper sauce)..sometimes he would even bring me hausa koko (local Ghanaian spicy millet porridge ) and akara (fried bean cakes)...my mouth still salivates anytime i rember those times..what i won't give for someone to bring me some!!..not that I can't afford it but just for the simple #fact that he thought about me and wanted to do something nice for me..I miss that alot... I really do...these days you meet a guy,he takes your number and the next thing is he is asking for nude photos of you or something crass like that!..or bombarding your phone with memes of religious stuff and videos of crap that does not #mean shit to you!..#make 'conversation' daaaaamnnniiittt!!..ask about her interests..her views..tell her about yourself..your plans...get to know each other a little before getting seriously involved..#people meet today knorr then dey wan marry!..where is the fire?!!!!..'my mum says i should get married!'...'I am getting old'...'all my mates are getting married!'...these and more are some of the unbelievable reasons people have for hitching up!...chillax!..there is no rush!
         What I also miss is sitting in a suitor's #car outside and just listening to music and talking about any and everything for hours on end..or even just sitting on a bench and watching people walk up and down going about their daily activities.. people really cared back then..they made and effort to show it whichever way they could....they communicated....which reminds me of another childhood memory..there used to be a truck that used to pass by our house every working #day those days:it was full of workers on their way home from work and anytime they got to where we were sitting they would throw gravel at us ...i think that were construction workers..why they threw the stones I'll never know ..I guess it was their way of communicating some sort of greeting..I never knew I'll say this,but I miss it!....every #moment in our lives however insignificant or otherwise should be cherished cos every incident plays an important part in putting together the pieces of the puzzle called life...thanx for reading...#shalom  #gaylesgifts

Tuesday 7 November 2017

stripped

        I'm a #woman..I love being a woman. .I love my body parts...I love having #breasts..I love how they bounce up and down when I run or jump..I love that I have a 'harness' for them..we call them #brassieres.I love #beautiful lingerie .i like how it feels on my skin...i love how a #good brassiere cups my breasts and keeps it secure to my chest..so i get cheesed off when a guy just grabs at  my  boobs just cos it's on 'display' for all to see...it is a woman's #pride and you need permission from her to touch them...one riffraff grabbed my boob once when I was younger..I threw a stone at him!..it was a reflex action but the right one!..I was so mad!..I felt violated!..imagine if i grab at the #penis of just any stranger i see..think about it!..looks stupid,right?..i rest my case.
          Women tend to 'outwear' their bras..or should i say 'overwear' them..I've seen,with my #own eyes a bra that was so overstretched  and knotted I almost mistook them for a fishing #net..right there and  then I was so embarrassed to call myself a woman!..ebei!!.one bra i saw had the underwiring sticking out and,#brace yourself,it was rusted !!!aargh! !.you'll see women in town with their bra straps showing from under their clothes and they it is filthy!!..you can tell it was supposed to be #white but it looks black..we #sweat under our boobs so don't wear your bra for 1000yrs before washing..there's nuting worse than the smell of a damp sweaty bra!!*shudder!!***.
        Some women #wear bras that dont fit well..either it is undersized,where you'll see her boobs squashed and piled on top of the bra  cups like fufu in an asanka (traditional earthenware bowl to my abrofo ppl) waiting for the abenkwan (palmnut soup) to be poured on it and devoured!...or it is oversized and  her boobs will just be swimming in the bra cups like wet old #socks,esp when 'gravity' has not been kind to them..our boobs won't be perky for ever..I'll tell you that for free..when we are young, bras are a fashion thingy and when #old age sets in they a 'cosmetic' necessity..we don't want our boobs to lose its firmness but it is inevitable..some women with smaller boobs wear padded bras to give them some confidence. .that's when a guy would say he felt cheated when he unveiled them in the sexual 'throes' of lovemaking!..he was expecting big boobs #and what he got were 'friedeggs' or just nipples...
         Most women,including myself are #insecure about one or some,or all  parts of their body..'i wish i had bigger boobs'..'i wish i had a bigger butt'..'i wish my legs were bigger'..'i wish my thighs were smaller'...and the list goes on and on and on..lots of men have told me they don't care too much about the woman's looks like we do..he's not gonna fall for you based on how #expensive your weave looks or how long your artificial nails are..or how much make-up you have got on.some women pile up so #much crap on their face you will have to scrape it off with a shovel!..aahba!..women, let us keep it simple and #natural as much as possible..
      I love that i have a sexy waist..that is why i love to 'enhance' them with African beads.. ..there is nothing sexier than a woman's waist adorned with beautiful colorful beads.. i like when i see the beads peak its 'head' above the edge of a woman's #panties  and skirt or trouser band when she bends to pick up something...beads on the waist serves a lot of purposes..it makes the woman feel sexy and African..it serves as a weight watcher 'device';when you are putting on #weight it will get tighter..some men also use it as their reins when riding into eternity!..so women you gotta make sure your beads got strong strings cos your man can break them when humping away like some deranged bull!
        I love that i have hips..I love beautiful drawers..sexy durable knickers ..i usually have an amount,lets say 20pairs,at a time..i wear them for awhile and change them according to the condition. .dont wear undies till you get your 'money' out of it..i have sexy drawers for them days..*wink wink*..i got drawers for periods (those are a mixture of sexy,granny panties,'dental floss', to choose from)..the 'idoncare' drawers i wear when i'm by myself..those ones are the huge tents,a lil tear-and-wear relationship going on,frays and all...every woman's got one of those! ..i got a couple i think!.and then there's the commado days! ...the days we let everything hang!..naked  u came and naked you'll  go!..lol..you best believe that!...period panties should be dark-colored ones(black,navy blue,brown,etc) cos when there's a stain it wouldn't be too obvious even after you wash them..bright colored panties are hard to take care of during that time of the month..soak your panties awhile with detergent, wash them properly and hang them out to dry in the sun...the hot sun kills all the bacteria accumulated from sitting on toilet seats....please please please don't keep discolored panties amongst your things..it is DISGUSTING.....throw them away!!
              I cant talk about panties and not talk about keeping the vagina neat and clean..the vagina doesn't smell like roses but it certainly doesn't smell like rotten eggs either..so lets stop subjecting our men to those atrociously foul smells..its become too embarrassing for me to be hearing #that all the time from men...there are perfectly safe soap-free vaginal wash[es] on the market..spend extra time on all parts of the vagina..the lips,the pubes...your inner thighs...
        I love that I have beautiful feet and legs...I have never had a #pedicure. .well not a professional one..but then there's so many ways of killing a cat..I give myself a home pedicure maybe once in a month. .I soak my feet in warm soapy water..and scrub with a pumice..scrub the heels,ankles,between the toes, ..I get rid of all the calluses. ..leaving my feet soft to the touch...then i rinse the #soap of with warm water,pat them dry with a towel and rub on pormade...keep the nails short and filed...paint them if you want. .I paint mine myself...and I'm good to go!
       I love that i have supple,smooth AFRICAN #skin..i use alata saminaa (black locally made soap from plantain peels and other natural ingredients) for bathing..i use cocoa butter cream on my body after every bath.. i have used these items for years and years..that is why my skin remains firm and succulent!..I am proud of my body and so I take care of it the best way i can.
      ....the woman's body is a beautiful thing to behold...I admire a #woman the way a man does...though mine is from a purely non-sexual point...it's just appreciating nature and its fascinating hold on me..the vagina is an enigma..physically and figuratively..it's appearance is intriguing even to me,a woman...it looks foreboding and ominous...portentous ...physically it can't be described as beautiful. .but it can give lots of sexual pleasure to herself and to the opposite #sex...it causes lots of 'havoc' to mankind most times..like everything else it has got its pros and cons...generally it gives great pleasure so let us ENJOY AWAY!....thanx for reading...shalom  #gaylesgifts

Friday 13 October 2017

sex-talk 'talks' sex

            Most mothers don't teach their daughters about #sex yet their daughters are told to hold unto their virginity until after marriage..like the success of their marriage rides on just being a #virgin...what irony!...ok,so she manages to 'hold onto' her virginity like some gold throughout the courtship period..the guy goes along with the charade....they fall in #love...get married...on the honeymoon #night she discovers she's  got candidiasis and her #vagina stinks to high heavens..what then?...first of all most guys don't even want to be bothered with the trouble of breaking a woman's virginity. .it's a psychologically traumatic experience  for every #woman and our men are not wired to deal with that kind of emotion..second of all some guys are so stressed on that night to even 'get it up'...i hear that all the time...and then the woman gets really disappointed cos they have brainwashed to think everything about the #success of a relationship/marriage rode on that moment..these days things are different tho..we a'int got more virgins like before yet we still dont talk openly about sex!
              It is also a physically painful experience for her especially if she's not 'ready' mentally and physically..if she happens to have a #husband who's impatient to consummate the union seeing as he's waited that long,thereby not giving her enough time to relax and have her 'juices flowing '...she's not wet and maybe he's got a bigger member and she's got a smaller vagina and wants to force his way in  like some fufu-pounder in some chop bar at the Kaneshie market, pounding away at the boiled cassava like there's no tomorrow!..those guys are so muscular from all that pounding, and if you 'lef gee them go pound your hand to a pulp'!..so are you just going to lie there like a log so he pounds away?will you tell him how your body responds to his 'game'?..will you tell him what you want him to do your body?...will you tell her you like to be dominated?..will you ask her to 'ride' you or you will just throw her off of your erect #penis when she attempts to awkwardly do so cos she is ignorant and perhaps #shy?..will you be sensitive to her?will you be accommodating of his sexual 'demands'?..these misgivings and more run through our minds if we would be sincere with ourselves.
         Sex-talk has been a 'taboo' for so long amongst society and in the homes and in  the #schools...infact everywhere!..In schools during biology classes we would just broach the subject..I remember the teacher asked the class for those who'd started having #periods to stand up to b introduced like they'd won the lottery..back then it seemed a #big deal but on hindsight I think it was a very stupid thing cos it only brought  attention to them and gave the boys more reason to just tease the girls...that topic left me non the wiser ..i hadn't started my period yet and had no clue as to what it was...I was a 'late bloomer'...had my period during the last days of my O level period (no pun intended!)..I was like 15 I think which was 'old' cos most girls start like age 11,some even as early as 9yrs old. .I finished O level with my chest still as flat as my back..meaning i didn't have #breasts...i didn't understand why and so i actually used to pray for breasts!..i would pray for even the tiniest ones just to feel like a woman ..i didn't know it was just normal to be 'late'..i was scared I'll never develops breasts!...that's how ignorant I was about the #female body...now that i  have breasts,today being 'no-bra day' i can fully participate cos wearing no bra on a 'breastless' chest on a no-bra day,is that one too a 'no-bra' distin?!!!...hahahahahah.
             I remember when my period finally 'happened' I was at one of those entertainment sessions in school we used to refer to as 'variety shows'...they had all kinds of activities going on in there ..singing,dancing and what-nots..kids got into all kinds of shenanigans during these sessions...I used to attend them even though I didn't have money for entry fee ..oh yes,you had to pay to enter cos the'organizers' had to fix the dining hall ,etc..but come to think of it,why were they charging an entry fee to a show organized by students for students in a school space?!!!beats me!.1 wanted to get out of the #house sometimes so i guess it was a better option for me....back to my story..so I'd just sit outside the building and imagine what was going on in those shows cos I could hear the music since the hall wasn't soundproof. .doesn't make any sense now but it did back then...I always felt so fulfilled after the 'show'....things we do for pleasure!!!
       So it was during one of these shows that I started feeling funny in my abdomen...I thought it was something bad i'd eaten that didn't agree with my tummy...after I couldn't ignore it any longer I visited the john and realized I had discharged some reddish stuff into my undies...I panicked...I had a little idea of periods from the crappy biology 'education' I'd had coupla years ago during my O levels  but I wasn't prepared for this...guess what I did,I fixed  a folded newspaper in my drawers and went home..case solved! ...heheheheh...wasn't funny back then though!...I never told any one,not even my mum about the experience..cos i didn't know how to broach the subject..what do i say?..how do i start that convo since she had never brought it up...I had to teach myself on how to take care of myself during these periods (pun intended!). ..items to use...e.g. pads ,tampons,feminine washes..some of these products I started using later on in life when I got older and more experienced and more financially stable cos these things ain't cheap and to think you buy them every month or in bulk...before that i used cotton,pieces of cloths,old socks (my aunt introduced me to that one..lol).....having periods cost money cos you'll need them every damn month!...aside the physical symptoms of abdominal pains,heavy bleeding,bloating,diarrhea,tender nipples,nausea ..etc ...you've got to deal with the emotional bits too..it's called PMS (pre-menstrual syndrome)...some women get irritated easily,moods go up and down (someone would say it's like that for women 24/7,periods or not!)....
         It is very important as a woman to know your #menstrual cycle...most women don't know it not to talk of understanding it..every woman's cycle is different. ..symptoms are also exclusive to each woman...during these times (I'm trying to use the word 'periods' less often in this write-up..catch my drift?..*wink wink*) personal hygiene should be extra. .keeping a pad on or a tampon in for too long has it's own consequences. .most importantly they smell bad...really foul smell....change your pads often,use vaginal washes and wipes,wear dark drawers,and when u wash them hang then in the sun...when u wash your #vagina, spend extra time on the lips and the pubic hairs (that's if you keep a forest..*wink wink*.....or even a Mohawk!)...and always do a sniff test afterwards...it's very necessary! You should study your #body as a woman.explore your whole body. .stand in front of a mirror and examine every bit,even your pubes ....know what turns you on..most women are uncomfortable with touching themselves but it's got to be done ..if you don't know what turns you on how would you 'show ' your man?..a lot of women are sexually ignorant and unsatisfied and it shouldn't be so. ..i cant advice men cos what do i know?!!!..so YOYO!..you are on your own..sorry!..lol
          Our mothers didn't #teach us cos they didn't know any better...their #mothers didn't teach them either...hmmmm....sex is important so why cant we talk about it?!!!!.....why don't we talk about it openly without cringing. .why can't we talk about it without having to feel like a you're a slut or something...it's so frustratingly frustrating!.we don't wana talk about it yet we do have #sex..every one of us on this planet was born as a result of sex between our parents..people have all kinds of sexual preferences...some weird. .some kinky. .some boring..some down right scary!..to each his own!...we can't ignore sex and its consequences'..its #pleasures...its benefits..our young #women coming up are the ones i weep for cos they don't have any better example to emulate...the girls are ignorant and the boys expect them to know what sexual acts to perform on them and even how to respond..go figure!..our generation should sit up..we should read more and impart it on/to them....they need it...women need it...some women wont complain seeing as they are in the dark..they don't know what they are missing...sex education is a must..for health reasons..for hygienic reasons.. for pleasure..for procreation..for empowerment...i could go on!...I am always all about #womenempowerment...call me a #feminist...I will thank you!....shalom....#gaylesgifts #gaylesgold #sextalk #talksex

Wednesday 4 October 2017

FUCK HIM,FEED HIM.....AND LEAVE HIM ALONE!

             I was at a party few days ago and i was privileged to be in the company of  some very influential people...mostly men!...it is a MAN'S WORLD they always say anyway!..So of course the convos veered  towards relationships and marriage and love and anything else in between.The most topic we really delved into was men and how they are so into what they see..they almost all agreed it was difficult for a man to be in a monogamous relationship because they were wired to respond to sight yet wouldn't want their female partners to do same.Every man has the woman they love and the rest is for 'play'...so i asked 'if men react to sight how would a women know she was 'the one' for keeps?'...they said 'fuck him,feed him and leave him alone!
          And i was like you guys make it sound so easy!..let me try and break it down .....................see if I can enter a man's mind!
         1.FUCK HIM.....ofcos!..it goes without saying!...heheheheh....I'm sure every man has his sexual preference..I don't think one man can speak for all men but I'm sure most men have sale things in common...every guy goes for the boobs during foreplay..ladies,am I right?...or am I right!. .*wink wink*......I'm wondering though, is it the amount of times you 'fuck' him or is the quality of the sex that I important to him?...most men complain their women don't participate in the sexual act and that's a deal-breaker for them...phew!....e hard oo! ...if the woman tells you her sexual preference you'll say she's promiscuous or 'rotten ' and if she's 'docile' you'll say she's frigid. ..did we go or did we come  (pun intended!)?. .the guys at the party were mostly married but had some side action going on..sidekicks!....are they a blessing or a curse? ...cos some actually 'charge ' for their 'favors'...hmmmm....imagine this..he's married to his wife for 19years,what does he need a side chick for?if he's not getting what he wants from his wife,why be with her for that long? But being together for that long must mean she's worth keeping,right? Unless the wife's sex game got boring or something !help me out here, guys!
               2.FEED HIM.....I have always heard from a lot of angles that 'the way to a mans heart is his stomach'..But then i know most women who are top cooks who couldn't keep their man.Unless its a special type of food..or maybe that's why some men end up having affairs with their house helps because they cook their foods?i also heard stories where a man stopped eating his wife's or partner's food because he didn't love her anymore.so maybe there really is a connection there to some point i know they'll say 'men are simple creatures'..eeeerrrrrrmmmmm..............nah!..men are babies but dont want you to be their 'mother' when it suits them...but mothers 'feed' babies,no?....chale,this topic confuses me by the day!maybe in the next life i should 'come' as a man!...maybe I'll have a better understanding of them...that's how fascinated I am by the male specie. ..i think men are an enigma....if you disagree or agree, lets hear your views in the comment box..
            3.LEAVE HIM ALONE.......I believe it means don't nag him in anything...as a woman though if u really like a guy I bug him when he upsets me ..in the other hand if i don't give a rat's arse about him whatever he does won't upset me..I won't waste my time letting him know what he did to upset me...so if i 'leave u alone' ,i really LEAVE U ALONE!...I think talking and arguing and fighting is normal cos that's how you'll know each other's buttons...when you know that you learn not to push each other's buttons...every relationship has its good and bad days. .it can be stressful and tasking emotionally and we suffer psychologically. ..admitting it frees your soul..bottling it up kills you slowly inside....when a woman stops nagging men be worried cos it means she's given up on u..doesn't necessarily mean she hates u ,it just means she's tired...so please men,don't ask us to 'leave u alone'...there should be a sort of compromise I think...try and meet us halfway. .we don't choose who [m] we love...we don't need people by accident. .every meeting was meant to happen..so let's not beat ourselves up if things didn't go well...when relationships turn sour maybe it's meant to be...it's not fun but it's life...it's great when both parties want the relationship and fight for it..cos you both feed off each other's vibes ...but when one gives up it doesn't need to be world war two to break things off...it's always hard to let go of what you thought might have been the potential love of your life..it's really hard..feelings cant be faked..most times we pretend it's all good but when we are alone we cry into our pillows..let's be real with our feelings...life is too short to stay mad for long with people we care for cos tomorrow is not promised..we all make mistakes. .we all have our faults...we all have our individual madness...and demons...some scarier than other's. ..but i know that that special person who taught me 'tell the truth and the truth shall set u free'  gave me a rare gift...sometimes it doesn't end well cos everyone was raised differently and understands things differently but the truth  really sets you free!..and I'll always ALWAYS choose that path!
            So men does 'feed him,fuck him,leave him alone' really work?is that all it takes to 'keep' your man?is that why our men always use the 'submission' line on us women?even when it's not feasible? and what about women and what we need our guys to do to keep us?or don't they need to earn our love?what do we get in return if we do all these three things?how about his character?how about how men respond to women's needs?are men and women really meant to be together?cos sometimes relationship causes more harm than good..even the so-called perfect ones leave some damage behind....I have been genuine about my feelings for each and every guy I have ever dated..that i know..but did they know?did they believe me?did they have doubts?or maybe it didn't work cos I didn't give them all three wishes..who knows!...I'll try and do better...do same..my buddy  said impatience,repulsion, being argumentative,quick tempered,pretty demanding,materialistic, being unhygienic etc are some of the attributes of a woman that puts men off...but i know most men also have those attributes and most women are put off by them..it goes both ways...he said men are also intimidated by confident women..is it our fault?..being confident doesn't necessarily  mean i dont need to be taken care of by a man...it means i am strong enough to support you and be a team..men have their roles and so do women...men can not do everything a woman can do and vice versa..dont get it twisted.men need women and women need men...thanx for reading..#shalom

Saturday 30 September 2017

pick-up lines

         I've heard many a pick-up line in my day. .many!...some are so corny it's not even funny!...'i think I know you from some where'...yea right!..if you really know me you won't 'think' you know me from somewhere!...i have some of my own cos i got game being a certified flirt and all..my alter ego loves to flirt paa!she loves it like she loves crackling(that's wele to my native people)!
       'I like your shoes' always works for me..ofcos they have to be banging shoes worth noticing and commenting on..I've got a shoe fetish..mine is borderline creepy!..it's like having a fix when I wana get high..shoegasm is what i call it!...I'll get the urge out of the blue...place my feet in a pair of shoes..admire myself in the mirror and viola!....it's shoegasm time!...heheheheh...works every damn time!...try it!but you'll have to be a little mad like I am to really get there!..all of us are a little mad anyway..it is what it is..there i go digressing ..again!..*rolling my eyes*
        So I see the guy with wicked shoes on and i innocently(*chuckle *!) make a passing comment ..e.g ,'nice shoes'!..and ofcos the guy'll respond..everytime!.if he were a woman he would've preened like a peacock!.then before you know it he has taken over the convo though i started it!..and he will ask for my number...smh...I like men's accessories. .watches ,bangles/bracelets,belts,rings...I wear some..even boxers sometimes..ssshhhhh,don't tell no one! ...so if I see a nice watch or summin on a fly dude I'll use that as my entry point and make my move!...my fellow flirts know it's a harmless trait and we do it for some secret guilty pleasure. ..unless you wana go further then that one dierr ebe your own matter oo!
             I just do it for kicks. ...I sometimes almost get into trouble cos the other person (the victim..lol) thinks I'm really checking them out and expect more..thanks to the stars I'm able to wriggle my way out of it..*phew*!....the game gets smoother as the climb gets tougher..hahahahahha....!
           But my guys,  u should up your game cos I know using pickup lines on women should be 'picking up' lines...what good is a pickup line if there's no picking up?!...'if a pickup line doesn't get you the intended woman is that one too a pick-up line? (shoutouts to Ebony wai !)....try being bold and forward..women like that..I'll tell you for free...' hey there!I think you're beautiful. .can I get to know u?'.....or 'that's a nice purse you've got there..what brand is it?'..women know when you're being shady. ..they can smell it like BO on a trotro mate!...be genuine and real and sincere...when a woman sees a potential catch she's praying that he won't say something stupid to ruin everything..I'm sorry but first impression really does count in these matters. .the braggarts are the worst kind...who wants to  hear about how much your shoes cost...certainly not me!.I've got my own eyes and can tell when stuff are expensive,or not!..thank you very much!..I own this and that...whether it's true or not I don't wana know!....aargh!
         How can u see a woman you like and say 'a beautiful woman like u shouldn't be standing in the hot sun'!.....so the ugly ones should be in the sun,eh?..so it's not like you care about me as a person..It's not like you're practicing chivalry...it's not like you would give a lift to me if i were ugly..if it were up to u I'll bake to crisp in that scorching sun..like my favourite crackling! ..so your pick up line is just cos I'm 'beautiful'....but then beauty is in the eye of the beholder so who knows exactly what he's seeing. .or thinking!
              Him:..'It must have hurt'...me:'huh?'.....him:when you fell out of the sky?'..me:' to where?'...him:'to earth!' ..me:'i see!'..i give out my fake chuckle,roll my eyes in my mind ofcos and walk off!....like seriously!..who does that? !!...listen to this one....him:'hi'..me;'hello'....him:'don't you know me?'..me:'huh'...him;'hoh ,is it not your mum who is the caterer (twi -brofo!)?'....me:'eheh ,you know my mum so that translates into me knowing u?'...him:'oh,don't be angry,i just like u!'....why the hell didn't u just come right out and say so instead of putting me thru this charade?! ...I could go on and on about the corny pickup lines I've been subjected to mehn...it's an atrocity!
           Here's another one....I'm dressed up in my exercise gear going for speedwalking and someone stops me and asks..' are u going jogging ?'..or 'where are u going'?....i reply;'I'm going for a wedding'!...aargh!.... .some of these dudes can't be any more obvious! ...be direct..you can try being subtle but clear in your intentions....try 'i like u,can i buy u a drink sometime?'....sometimes that might earn you a slap or an insult cos you could be out of her league or she might be in some kinda mood(you know how we do!) but keep on keeping on!.lol....also test the waters and learn to 'read' body language...trust me when a woman is not into you,you would know!..her disinterest will come off of her skin like some heat wave...her pores would exude her disdain like some 'akpeteshie' fumes off of a drunkard's body!....that shit is deadly mehn!
            If you can't be creative with pickup lines just start by being friends with the person....and hopefully it will be smooth sailing then on! ....I'm out...lovely reading! ...shalom
               

Wednesday 27 September 2017

tangled earphone cords

Relationships and its dynamism has always been an enigma to me and I'm sure to most of the world's population as well..the consequences of being together with someone in the name of love or otherwise is what I'm relating to my blog title 'tangled earphones'..I'll tell you in a bit why i look at it that way.
            I'm a crazy music-lover!..music is indeed food to the soul..whenever I'm down..or up...or in between anything in my life, music is what takes me there ..or brings me down(in a good way)!..so of cos I own earphones! ..whenever I'm on a long trip anywhere I have my earphones on listening to some reggae mos def!..one thing that has always baffled me though is/was the earphone cords and how after I've put it down, untangled, after each use,the next time I pick it up for the next usage I find it tangled up again!..every single damn time!...I'll untangle it to use and put it away and it's all tangled up for sure..so I go through the process of untangling the earphones all the time..i really wish i knew how that phenomenon occurs. .if you know please tell me!..it's frustratingly frustrating but it must be done if I want to listen to my music..no pain,no gain..it is what it is!...it's a mystery but i do it anyway.
            You now get my analogy of relating relationships to the mystery of the tangled earphones?..I'm sure the hoi polloi(a phrase i just learnt yesterday and decided to use it so i don't forget it..hehehhe...thanx Russell !) would get it..we don't get the relationship dynamism but we do it anyway..though sometimes it causes lots of irreparable damage..sometimes it works well for other couples..there are cases where people have been together for as long as 7decades or more and would want to do it all over again with that same person..there's no hard and fast rule when it comes to these things..nothing is guaranteed..you learn 'on the job'...no two relationships are the same..you 'untangle' whatever 'rut' you and your partner find yourself in and everything is all good and dandy and the next minute you're all 'tangled up' again and the process starts all over again..the cycle continues like clockwork ..or anti clockwise depending on how you look at it. .
                The beginning of most relationships is always beautiful..you meet someone. .sparks fly..you are drawn to each other by some unnatural force..chemistry is what they call it..then you have the urge to act upon that feeling. .you want to express your feelings towards that person..it's a force we can't ignore or control..sometimes it hits you hard and sometimes it's subtle. .'it can come all at once or whisper from a distance'(Celine Dion couldn't have put it any better!)..the feeling develops into love and as society demands you have to be married to legalize your union..I for one don't believe you need to sign a paper to prove your love to your partner. .I see it as a formality because whatever you feel is in your heart and your dedication and commitment to your relationship would manifest in/by your actions...
              I'm saying this because people rush into marriage just cos they feel that is the right thing to do to cement your relationship and it causes more harm than good..being with the 'wrong' person can knock you for six..that's why people cheat..if you don't feel fulfilled in your relationship the possibility of you looking for fulfillment elsewhere is inevitable..it's so easy to do cos once someone makes you feel good about your self, you find yourself wanting more and more of it..lets be real here..we all want to be loved..who doesn't want to be taken care of?..and i don't necessarily mean material things,though that's also how some people like to be 'loved'..money makes the world go round and so of cos you'll like to enjoy some pleasures of life which costs money..it's nice when someone takes off your shoes for you when you come home from work,tired..they give u a massage..serve you your food..you don't have to be in any type of relationship with anyone to be nice..that shouldn't define who you are as a person..be nice regardless..people go through shit and one act of kindness can make a world of difference to them..it's the little things that mean the most..where did chivalry go?...building a life with someone you like is a beautiful thing..or rather it should be a beautiful thing..
                 I don't think people just get up and want to be with someone for any negative reason except you're bonkers and that's not what we are talking about now..we don't choose who we fall for..you can meet anyone anywhere. .there's nothing like the 'wrong one' or the 'right one'..as long as the person loves you right,you're good to go..'when the wrong one loves you right' is a line i remember from another Celine Dion song ..I can't remember the whole song but that line has always struck me as true because everyone wants to be loved differently and when you find someone who does that, be it anybody,even someone society deems 'wrong', you find yourself being content...I have come to a conclusion that nothing can make you happy unless you are loved the way you want..I am sarpiosexual and ofcos I'm attracted to the intelligence in a person..intellectual convos stimulate my senses..and my hormones start raging !..I like to cuddle..I like walking on it beach at night with my partner.you can say I'm a romantic...not a hopeless one though cos i also like raw jungle stuff like swinging on chandeliers..*wink wink*..hehehehehe(naughty-chuckle!).. hugging is the most orgasmic human to human act ever!..it communicates genuine feelings like no other ..you can't fake body language..that's what I think.. Don't underestimate the power of body language and communication..running away from vulnerability won't spare you any heartache cos as long as we are on this planet we are bound to have human interactions..no man is an island so don't get it twisted..whether you put labels on your relationships or not...if you're not willing to go through the process of untangling your cords every second you need to use them, you have no business building anything with anyone..seems impossible though ..a catch22 situation...it's like being caught between a rock and a hard place .you're stuck!...hmmmm!....I can only sigh mehn...
        This blog also came about due to the recent break-up of most marriages between some celebrities and the most shocking and upsetting was the one of Chris Attoh and Damilola..not just because I've known Chris for so long as a result of us being school mates and friends but also because they made a beautiful couple. .they were young and looked good together..both are so talented in their careers..they made sacrifices to build their relationships but sadly it didn't end well...I don't know what the last straw was that broke their camel's back..because ofcos they must have had lots of issues..which relationship doesn't! ..but sometimes it gets too much and you feel going your separate a ways is the best thing to do..
          I don't know if we'll ever get the hang of this phenomenon(i choose to call it so)...but as long as all these forces like chemistry live with us we're bound to go through it.. I love love..I really do...sharing your thoughts,plans,beliefs with someone is oh so orgasmic..the squirting type!...hmm hmmm hmm hmmm!!!...and then there's the other ugly side of it..cyant live with it,cyant live without it(in my Jamaican accent!..hehehehhe..)..abeg make i express myself well in my native way...'the thing dey sweet!..but E get im own things wey e dey bring oo..chale how we go do am!..
            As always all my blogs stem from the desire to impart to everyone what I've learned in life and I'm open to your comments cos I want to learn more..I have an insatiable craving for knowledge..I thirst for multiple intellectual orgasms..I wana squirt and squirt and squirt till i can squirt no more!. .and I wana share it with u...*make you no slack koraa!*..you only live once...#yolo...shalom.

Monday 18 September 2017

FOREPLAY .................and HYGIENE.

          Hygiene is very important to me cos I hate foul smells and dirt..As human beings we are bound to generate some off smells and also gather some dirt on our clothes,surroundings and person ...especially on our private areas..armpits,breath, vagina, between our legs,up our backsides,behind our ears... navels are most of the 'areas' that special attention should be paid. ...the worse thing that can happen to a person is being intimate with someone who is not hygienic. .eeeeeewwwwww!!! is what my 3year old mini-me would say!..yes,even at that age she is very neat ..knows her way to the garbage bin like nobody's business..she knows where dirty clothes go,washes her hands when they are dirty and even after she visits the loo..speaking of which ,how many adults do that?!...it's like thrice out of every tenth visit to the john .
      Sometimes I marvel how a three year old is so organised and I remind myself it was us who taught her..kids really copy what u do and charity definitely does begin at home!..what I really hate is 'skid marks'..when a guy or woman doesn't wipe well after a bowel movement,what do u get?.. disgusting skid marks on your undies!..the trick is to use wipes or have a bath..wash behind the ears anytime you bath..clean out the the navel,inside the ears... foreplay  doesn't restrict you..your partner is given full access to your body..your clothes should be neat and freshly-smelling..some sweet smelling scent on the body is a plus.. the raw clean natural smell of a man (that's how I like it!) can also take you places !. .I'm not talking about body odor ..oh he'll no!...I'm not talking about sweaty off-smelling hair...I love to cuddle so my man's got to smell clean atleast!...those women who trick men by spraying their vaginal-area with all kinds of sprays should STOP. .it's unhealthy and it's deceitful!
      Most guys have complained to me about their women having stinking weave-ons..women don't keep your weaves on till you get back your money's worth!.. that shit is a serious turn off for men..some men like the raw clean smell of women too..without artificial scents and perfumes..women also want their men to smell clean..neat undies is key..most men lament on how they are surprised when they are about to go down on some women..if you want a man to give u head u certainly have to consider his sense of smell ..women take a while to be aroused and foreplay is very essential to that...lots or foreplay..most men are ignorant of that fact or they just don't care..they kiss u,or rather they peck at your lips like some cockerel..some guys kiss like they are chewing wele (cackling to my abrofo friends)!
       Some kiss like they wana suck your lips right off your face!..they squeeze your breasts like they are milking a cow...stick their finger up your vagina like they are digging for for gold..then stick their penis in and thrust once,twice and come. ..and roll over and sleep!...'wham,bam, thank u madam' syndrome!...so most women feel so sexually deprived..lots of woman don't know what an orgasm is...they are so in the dark. .men don't need much to get aroused and they can get their 'happy-ending' from any 'receptacle'..they should learn to be considerate of their partner's sexual needs. If a woman is well aroused with some serious foreplay,the final sexual penetration is not really such a big deal because they are already halfway to orgasm-land!..and the women who just lie there inert like some log or dead fish should wake up!..and bring the roof down!
     Lovemaking is an art and when 'acted ' out well the results can be beautiful and mind-blowing!.it is like dancing with a receptive and participating partner..it starts from the conversation leading to the meeting..phone sex!..ooooohhh!!!...it stimulates your senses and readies the physical body for the final penetration. .it's not rushed except you're going for a quickie  (that's another topic for another day..but then again knowing myself I might bring it up again in this write-up!)!...getting ready for the 'date' also psychologically uplifting..have a bath..a proper cleaning up..from clean hair to nails,keep nails short and filed, and dirt-free..scrub under your breasts well...ladies keep your hair neat (well-coiffed ) and nice-smelling..shave your pits ,vagina area,legs,..some people like the animalistic side of sex ..i call it JUNGLE SEX ...to each his own!
        Back to the date! ..brush your teeth,check your breath..when dressing up..don't wear dirty undies,no sweat-stained brassieres..don't wear  smelly shoes..men,don't wear undies with holes in them!..check your breaths too...kissing a foul-smelling mouth is suicidal! ....and I avoid it!..when you are kissing try to find a 'balance' between both lips..let your lips lock naturally. .and be patient!..cause every one kisses differently. .hold your partner's head gently in your hands and kiss with passion..you can close your eyes..or open them..chale anything that tickles your fancy!. no holds-barred!..kissing of the neck,breasts (some men love that too..to be kissed on the nipples and breasts!),fondle her breasts firmly but gently..explore each other's bodies thoroughly...and be perceptive and 'listen' to your partner's responses or lack of  them!
       When performing fellatio,ladies please remember you've got teeth!..so be gentle..go read about it if you don't know how!..some men looovveee 'tea-bagging'...ladies you might wana try that!..men don't give head as if you're chewing a khebab!..the vagina is a sensitive 'organ'.. learn to listen to your partner's responses and protests and act accordingly...yes i am repeating that bit!..it is very necessary! .ask questions..don't be selfish. .you have to be completely involved...be experimental..lots of woman,especially ignorant ones in Africa have no idea about how to 'ride' a man..there are lots of karma-sutra books and videos for your perusal..know your partner and what their sexual interests are and meet them halfway. .
       We learn everyday..knowledge is never-ending...thanx to the internet lots of information is easily accessible. Sex/making love is one of the few pleasures in life...and it should be explored to it's full heights!..it's a combination of physical and mental desires...foreplay is about 80%(well that is what I feel!)...who else agrees or disagrees should please leave a comment at the end of the article..thanx for reading!..shalom!

Tuesday 29 August 2017

No SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE.

I have always heard this phrase since I could be aware of myself as a woman. .since I started menstruation and knowing the dynamics of womanhood and pregnancy and men and relationships..see where I'm going with this?...as a woman we were taught men wanted one thing and one thing only...we were told they only wanted sex and if they got it they would disappear. .well to some point ,we learnt it was true ,the hard way because young immature men didn't have much to worry about except having fun..so if they showed interest in a woman it was just to get into her pants..men are wired to react to what they see (physical creatures) and so you can't fault them for not sticking around after a few sexual encounters with a woman...on the other hand women are wired to respond to feelings (emotional creatures) so they are drawn to a man depending on how good he makes her feel with his words or actions..having said that human beings have deviced all kinds of theories and practices to protect themselves from being deceived by the opposite gender...
      Religion,Christianity to be precise is one major practice. .it teaches Christians to abstain from sex until marriage..to me that theory has a lot of holes in it..seeing as men need sex like we need air..or food..or anything all humans need to function properly...so if you,a woman deny your man sex it doesn't automatically mean he will love you more or less and certainly doesn't mean if he marries you before you have sex you would have a fulfilling marriage.It doesn't even guarantee he would marry you...a man does what he wants to do and not what a woman tells him to do..if he is in love with you he can change certain things to please you but it will be his choice at the end of the day..not kids,not good food ,not a banging body and certainly not abstinence from sex...men don't need a lot of pushing to have other sexual partners..they are hunters by nature and are always on the prowl..women shouldn't think a good  fulfilling relationship is going to materialize from trying to influence a man with subtle tricks .
       Men are simple creatures...but sadly women are the extreme opposite..we hear men call us crazy all the time!...sucks but it's true...the survival of a relationship doesn't ride solely on sex or lack of,in this case..there's a lot more:knowing the other party's character and how he responds to you and the outside world,whether you are sexually compatible,whether your sickles match or not are just a few things to consider...also people make the mistake of loving people the way they themselves want to be loved but everyone responds to love differently and if you love them wrongly it'll be wasted on them. ..e.g. if you're a touchy-feely lover and your partner is sapiosexual,having intelligent convos stimulates her senses and grabbing at her will not really turn her on whiles he wants to cuddle and neck and so we have to learn to compromise..and be considerate.
     What if after you waited to have sex after marriage and realize your sexual organs are not compatible? I have heard lots of men complain about their women's vagina being too large for them and put it down to them being promiscuous. .it could be the man has a small penis so the fit is not right...some women always complain of their men having huge penis thereby making the sexual encounter uncomfortable for her..these things are really important in a relationship. .if a man with an average penis gets to be paired with a woman with a tight vagina it will be a perfect fit and vice versa. .sex is an art ..like dancing..both parties complement each other to make magic.I have heard of situations where It's a couple's honeymoon it was discovered  the woman had an offensive vaginal odor ..this is a sensitive topic but it must be discussed..most men i have spoken to lament on this issue concerning women.I always thought the vagina had an accepted fishy smell but apparently some women have terrible smells..smells like 'rotten eggs' is the most description I've heard..one guy told me he had to burn his mattress after an encounter with a beautiful woman who's offensive vaginal odor stayed in his room for days and he wanted to cut off his finger which he'd used to 'touch' her..it seems a bit of an exaggeration but  it is what it is..women should be aware of this..bodily hygiene,especially vaginal ,is very important...it can be very embarrassing for the woman.especially  when your partner has to draw your attention to it.. it could be a medical problem but most of the time it is lack of proper hygiene.
       Women should be encouraged to empower themselves with education and knowledge thereby increasing their confidence level rather than making them set themselves up for a huge disillusionment with the no-sex before marriage nonsense..I've heard of stories where women did all of that and still ended up with serious STDs from their supposed faithful partners /husbands..It is good to equip yourself with all the necessary knowledge before making any decision..make informed decisions..abstinence from sex before marriage should be a personal choice not because of some religious influence or otherwise..because we are not spirits,we are living in our human forms now and every decision we make are human and has human consequences....some marriages have ended because the woman found out her husband had a tiny penis after they got married..I mean what can one do with that?..it's not your fault but why hide it from her?..these are  some of the unnecessary surprises and heartaches we can avoid if we move away from all that no-sex before marriage theory..it's all hogwash to me.
       If you want an honest sincere fulfilling relationship/marriage, it should come from both parties and their willingness to make it work..if you practice commitment,communication,respect, consideration you have a shot..always remember you WILL mess up...and when you do, be nice about it and be sincere in your remorse...shalom .

Friday 25 August 2017

STRINGS....OR NOT!


A friend just asked me this and it got my writing creative juices flowing!it is a very normal question to be asked these day and age especially since the dynamics of dating and relationships have evolved..in the African setting in the olden days the man was always the head of the home...and the woman was the home-keeper..she wasn't career oriented...or even if she was she wasn't encouraged because society wasn't ready to accept equalization between men and women...the man provided and the woman managed..so educating the girl-child was unheard of..in fact it was  a taboo... so the woman kept the home,which was in a way a full time job for her..everyone played their role well..or so it seemed!...most women lamented their woes  because they wanted to be independent...they wanted to do things for themselves. .they wanted to explore their passions and talents..these days it's been made possible with the inception of technology. ..The internet has made the world a global place..women have been empowered with knowledge and confidence and the acceptance level from society is almost complete
      In every situation though there's always pros and cons. .now there's a sort of tug-of-war between men and women for equality  at home,in work places ,in relationships..etc...women now know what they want and are standing their grounds..in relationships it's worse because it's put men at a disadvantage. .they don't get total control over the woman and egos are bruised and suffering!...I almost feel sorry for them but it is what it is!...women were settling into early marriages and relationships because they were not equipped with much education and confidence and support to do anything else with their lives..as young as 18 was the maximum. .now women are getting into late marriages and childbirth ..from mid thirties onwards..some are even having first babies in their fifties..there's so much distractions with work etc...and social media ain't helping any...it's made people unfeeling..just like robots.
      Relationships nowadays are all about selfish gain..me-me-me syndrome, I choose to call it..it's either for financial gain,or even for just a baby..before married mothers won't dream of cheating on their men but that is a thing of the past now.women couldn't cheat or they hid it  because society frowned upon it..it was a man's world they said..double-standards is what i say!...men are being tricked to father and raise up babies which are not theirs...human interactions and compassion have been relegated to a back burner collecting dust...dating has names like 'fuck-buddy, friends-with-benefits (fwb), shag-mate....or they'll say we are 'hooking up' or 'hanging out' or 'just chilling'..if you are old school like me you would be lost in all of that! I am your typical traditional woman who still believes in courtships and the whole nine yards..all hope is not lost!..my favorite is the 'no-strings' phrase because it's so ironic in as there are invisible 'strings' involved..if you wana shag exclusively that's a relationship..you see what I mean?....'invisible strings ' right there!....it's really difficult in our African setting to 'cultivate' that type of relationship..people do that to avoid getting vulnerable or emotional hurt .
    A friend of mine thinks he's perfected the right 'blend' for that ..he calls it the 'hit and run' act. .you shag once and disappear!..no history and no emotions....its kinda funny thinking about it...on the other hand though,being sexually active with someone for more than once builds emotions and history and the 'no strings' theory goes out the window...sometimes just even one sexual encounter can create emotions..the woman can get pregnant and the baby links you guys together for life...it's like a #catch 22 situation...you want to avoid emotions but end up creating them..it is what it is...relationships are beautiful and are not without pitfalls ...I always say any human relations are never perfect because everyone was raised different and we all have our good and bad days...#communication is the key...dont be afraid to let down your guard sometimes..be adventurous. .follow your heart. .live on the edge...because YOLO!...You only live once..make it count..shalom

Thursday 24 August 2017

DYNAMICS OF RELATIONSHIPS

.....chale the dynamics of relationships have changed paa oo....from pick up lines to dating to etc...some guy sees you on the #street and right there in the hot sun asks you if you dont want to marry him!..a guy stopped me whilst I was #speedwalking the other night and asked for directions to a church in the area.though I didnt know the church I tried to be helpful and the guy said I must be a Christian cos I was so nice to him!..what a laugh! the next thing he invites me to visit the same church he was asking directions to!it was just a pick up line!.he knew where the church was all along!...using Christianity by men to control,suppress and deceive women in the name of relationship is the order of the day!..people have all kinds of titles for dating nowadays...fuckbuddies,friends-with-benefits, sex mate,etc....
    People can be in a relationship for ten yrs or more doing everything (having kids,co-habiting,etc)and still call it 'dating'...people dont want to wear the boyfriend 'title' or 'cap' but want to enjoy all the #perks that come with it..they want to keep one window open and one leg out the door waiting for 'the one'..they say we are just 'kicking it' but we will have unprotected sex and you can't see any other guy apart from him.so Wat If u get pregnant wat will u do?you want her all to yourself but you say you are not her boyfriend..but you want to see other women at the same time..the couple should both agree on the terms of the union,stick to it and you get only wat u give..dont say you want one thing and expect something else...if u give more,u get more..to whom much is given, much is expected ..if u ask me there's nutin like 'the one' anywhere. ..every human being has their individual demons and come with their own bullshit so it's just a #choice of whose shit you wana deal with..it's always a choice.
     Most People want #romance without being #vulnerable...if u wana know the truth u have to stand close to it and in the process could get burned or liberated..it's always a #risk you have to be willing to take...some people think not wearing the 'boyfriend' title takes alot of pressure off the dating game cos they feel 'irrational expectations' is what kills a relationship..expectations are inevitable not only in relationships but at work,home,schools etc and even in platonic friendships. .human beings do rely on each other at one time or the other. ...it's funny tho cos if u are an independent woman and outspoken, the narrowminded African man will go the Christian route and say you don't need a man and are not submissive...yet if u expect him to help you out with financial and emotional support he'll say you are clingy and dependent..hmmm so Wat do men really want?I admit that women are more emotional than men and tend to maximize everything cos we are wired to react to what we hear(and feel) whilst men are wired to react to what they see(physical creatures).men say women are crazy cos they are too #emotional..two totally opposite sides of the human species yet we are drawn to each other by nature to procreate and build a life together ...chemistry is a very powerful force but it still doesn't overide the different traits in both sexes...
      Choice,#compromise, #communication, #compatibility , #commitment and #consistency are not words to be taken lightly...#love is a verb and showing affection is in what you do rather than in what u say...a guy meets a girl and they exchange numbers..right off the bat he starts flooding her fon with memes and chain-messages and videos and audios and Christian material without even asking the things she likes or if she's even Christian or religious for that matter!what has one got to do with the other?what happened to proper #courtship?simple stuff like spending time together and talking to know the basics things about each other.saying what you feel and think from the heart in your own words rather than forwarding something someone wrote and which has been sent to a billion or people. ....if people did that no one would jump into the next level of dating cos then you'll know if you like them enough or not.You can then decide to remain friends..You can never know everything about someone but you can know the important bits if you do proper dating and the first step is to be #friends...and you should also know that dating is always about the other person(be it the man or woman),their feelings,etc ..be considerate of their views,principles,values,etc. .people have become lazy and complacent in the pursuit of romance..does romance still even exist?. What does that word mean in these times??
      Nowadays everybody knows everything, thanx to Google ..people don't 'dig' for anything anymore..You can't teach kids anything cos with the click of a 'button' they are able to access information their mind is not developed well enough to process and understand. .call me old-school but i believe the internet and social media in some way has taken all emotions out of human #interactions. .well everything in life has its pros and cons and it's about how u manage the two...#monogamy is unnatural but we have been 'asked' to 'make it work'....I call it the biggest set-up of the #human race...despite all I've said though I love the idea of #love..a good long ,warm ,cuddle from a clean-smelling ,bald,bearded, bear of a man beats any pleasure of life!...good food is also another!.....love life and be considerate with one another...#SteveHarvey said his dad told him he would mess up in life but he should acknowledge it and be nice about it..let's all do same...shalom....#soultosoul #gaylesgifts #gaylesgists #gaylesgold #Gaylesnotes #gaylesthoughts

COMMUNICATION IN RELATIONSHIPS


#communication is a form of conveying your thoughts to another person..it could be a #request, a #response to a #question,a #reaction to a situation,expression of joy or displeasure..even #silence is a form of communication..the list is endless....#babies, and even animals communicate. .watch for e.g. a dog who is on heat and has spotted a bitch it wants to mount..study 'his" behaviour and 'her' reaction. .you self you go trust!..lol.. About 80% of human communication is by body language and the remaining 20% is by word of mouth and actions. .it's very easy to misconstrue someone's thoughts or actions or reactions or #intentions if they don't #communicate properly...#words and #bodylanguage and appropriate #actions to buttress your intentions work well together..one cannot be effective without the other..i call it 'words without meaning'...
    Men and women are very different on so many grounds but individually everybody is different because we were all raised differently..even siblings who were raised in the same household grow up to manifest their experiences in different ways..any time i reacted differently from all my siblings in any situation,my sister would always say to me ' but Gayle we were all raised in the same environment! '..she didn't understand why I reacted the way i did or do...it's because I'm more #sensitive and wired differently from the others..sometimes reactions could be a cry for #attention or a way of seeking approval or #support...or understanding. .everybody on this earth has been hurt by someone one way or the other simply because they had 'expectations '...that word has been put in such a bad light that now people are advised not to 'expect' nothing in a relationship. .but i say if u expect nothing you get nothing..not even #respect...i dont expect to be disrespected by anyone,certainly not by any man.. ofcos i have standards and expecataions..so sue me!               Ladies,list your standards down,know them and stick to them!.African men believe they are entitled to certain #privileges just because they are men..they dont feel they have to #earn a woman's 'repect' and interest. .when a woman complains about that it's called 'nagging' but when a man does it is called .....................oh yeah,they dont hav a word for it!..i say men nag too!....so there!..babies 'expect' to be dry and fed all the time..if their #expectations are not met they cmmunicate their displeasure by screaming and you'll give them attention!.. #communication and #reaction....You don't hold it against them...when you offend somone and they react by showing you their displeasure the best thing to do is acknowledge your fault and apologise or talk about it and explain your actions..e.g. a guy plans to take you out but stands you up with no explanation and you react by showing how upset you are..being upset is the right reaction because he made you unhappy with his behaviour.but instead of him saying sorry or being remorseful he would say you should've asked him what happened before reacting..why wait to show remorse?why wait for someone to show displeasure with u when you can avoid that by just communicating?
       Nobody seeks for permission to react..if someone does something positive for/to you ,you show happiness and appreciation right there and then!it's a reflex action..on the flip side if you did something nice for that same person will you ask them to ask you why you were nice before they showed their happiness ?.infact you will expect them to be happy.reactions are #instantaneous ..You don't even think about it...response to good is positive and response to bad is negative...it is what it is..acknowledge your mistakes and 'take your medicine like a man'!...we can only understand each other if we are considerate of each other's feelings..arguments are good because it makes you know what the other person likes and doesnt like so you avoid pusshing each other's buttons. Sometimes we step on each other's toes without realizing it but if we don't communicate and expect the other person to just know how you feel you'll be setting yourself up for a big disappointment. .nobody is a mindreader..the offendee should give the offender a chance if they want to explain their actions and appreciate the effort because we all make mistakes..avoiding the issue or 'sweeping it under the carpet' is the order of the day..and where did that leave us today?nowhere!..it didn't solve anything...a #problem shared is a problem half solved.
       Alot of us have bottled up our feelings because we are afraid of being judged or mocked..mentally lots of people are in pain and #suffering in silence. .#especially in marriages..keeping quiet is not the best answer..the #misery eats u up and you'll become a very unhappy person or worse commit suicide..lots of #people these days are existing instead of living..walking dead..'for better or for worse has to be scrapped from the wedding vows' because it is causing more harm than good. .'for worse' doesnt mean you should beat her up nor she should stay with you inspite of that.someone may end up being beaten to death..#abuse is abuse!mentally, physically or otherwise..and shouldn't be tolerated by anybody (men and women)..yes some men get abused in relationships by their/some women ..#psychological therapy in Ghana is not in our culture though..all our problems are attributed to the devil or some poor old woman somewhere who has been branded a witch..most pastors blame your problems on witches in your family..what is a witch anyway?and what is it they do in their 'realm' anyway?do they chant? Cast spells?what is their costume of operation?a long black coat and a long pointed black hat?well that is what I read in some books when I was younger..watched them in some movies too..those were fairy tales though..but in Africa it is a different ball game.I really wish someone will show me how the witches operate..the accoutrements they use in their 'craft' etc..I'm that curious .You can't live in Africa and not have their superstition rub off on you..Your aunty or mum will caution you to avoid a certain relative because he or she is a witch! And so you find youself avoiding that person!.
        I always MAINTAIN there is a #physical and a #spiritual world..everything that happens shouldn't necessarily be put down to some spiritual #influence. .there are things humans are capable of doing in their human form. .if u stand infront of a moving vehicle and pray all the prayers ,the car WILL hit you and you WILL suffer the #consequences. .dont get it twisted!..let's try to be real with one other in our interactions. .be #honest, #sincere, #truthful..if you are displeased show it,if you are sad,express it.If you are happy communicate it..let's stop pretending..everyone has #faults and imperfections. .be yourself,because everyone else is taken..you will mess up one time or the other,be nice when You do and the world would be better for us all..listen,process,repond..shalom .. ..#gaylesnotes #gaylesthoughts #gaylesgold #gaylesgist #soultosoul #relationshipthings