Thursday 14 February 2019

shag day

     'Love is  very fragile and we're not always the best caretakers'..it just simply means you tell your love story how you want it..you speak the love language how you and your partner understands it..you can get it wrong..you WOULD get it wrong..we can get it right..we COULD get it right..it's neither here nor there..the love journey is never -ending..it's ongoing ..you can say 'it didn't work out' when it ends,but as long as you're still 'speaking' it you can't say 'it's worked out'...because that's just the way it is..it is what it is.
   This article was inspired by today's date..14th February. .a day called Valentine's day..named after the man who expressed his love for a woman in a unique way..a man who showed his love to her everyday and all the time..the love language is not of words alone but of actions and deeds too..it is consistent. .it is regular. .it is not an afterthought. .it is not what society says it should be..it is not what religion says it should be..and it is certainly not what your next door neighbour says it should be. .your relationship doesn't have to make any sense to anyone but you and your partner. .people say 'money makes the world go round' but I SAY 'love makes the world go round'..go ask the nomads or those natives for example, who live deep in the forests..in their world love trumps money,houses, even clothes cos they don't see the essence of covering up their natural nakedness..they're free mentally and physically..and they stay together as one people..they fall in love..they procreate..and they survive...so don't tell me you can't build a life of love with someone unless you've got lots of money!
       In Africa,especially in Ghana where I come from,VAL'S day is a keeping-up-appearances affair these days..people don't hold hands in public..they don't kiss in public..lovers don't hug. .couples stand side by side like tin soldiers even on their wedding day..the sex talk is taboo..but on VAL'S DAY the whole country is shrouded in red..I must admit I used to buy into that crap..my first boyfriend wanted us to celebrate that day together..I was like 16 at the time..a time before internet and social media and all the fakery..man was broke tho..but back then those things didn't really matter because we didn't have any distractions like whatsapp and selfies and people actually put in the effort to invest their time and energy into relationships..visits,walks ,talks etc were 'values' that couldn't be taken for granted because money couldn't buy that..back to my story..I got him a card and used my last peanuts to buy some cheap 'champagne '..I'm sure it was just water,color and sugar in a bottle but how we go do am! ..lol..can you believe the idiot picked the gifts up that he was gona chill the drink so we meet in the evening to drink it but I never saw the playa again that day. .I went to his house and waited till the world came to an end..there was no mobile fon to call him to know where he'd disappeared to..heard later he took some other chick out..if I'd seen him that day I would've crashed my champagne bottle on his coconut head!..so why did he plan to celebrate love and do me like that?!!..pressure pressure pressure!
         Another incident occurred ,this time around with a different potential boyfriend..I was a bit older then but still naive on hindsight..so VAL'SDAY came and ofcos I didn't have any red dress..what's with the red red ish anyway!!!..he took me shopping and eventually he bought two options of a wine velvet gown and a pants/top 'costume '..when evening came I chose to wear the gown..we decided to double-date with a sister of mine and her then boyfriend..we went a night club..not long after we arrived my date abruptly said he was leaving..gave us money for taxi and left..whaaaaaattt!!..we decided to leave too and guess what,when we came out my date hadn't left but was lurking in the dark spying on me!..ei!. .so i asked him to take us home. .this man drove like all the demons in hell were chasing him!..it was a wonder we made it home in one piece!..I dared to ask him what was eating him and he said i was talking to other people at the club..OMG!!..so I couldn't talk to my friends cos you're insecure?you almost got us killed on the road cos your testosterone was bruised??!!!..so our VAL'S DAY ended on such a sour ugly note!..guys make it look like it's a MAN'S WORLD' yet they always need the validation of a woman to feel that way!
        VAL'S DAY is a commercial affair now and it's all about making money..everyone one jumps on that wagon not even knowing where it's headed..spending money on gifts and functions we can't  afford. .ur man beats you up on a daily basis. .he doesn't sleep at home..there's no love connection..no love affection..no proper communication yet on VAL'S DAY you insist he gives you a gift or else it is over!..your woman denies you sex because she is waiting for marriage..yet she is having sex with someone else..you go out on Valentine's day and you're both on your fon the whole doggone time!..so you see,distance between lovers is not only about location but you can even both be in the same bed together and there isn't any connection..love should be showed everyday and to hell with Valentine's day!..all the blood donations etc are acts of charity and kindness which should be expressed everyday..why wait for a particular day to be kind?..and then wait a whole year to repeat it!..if you want to celebrate this day then, know it is about the romantic kind of love between people IN LOVE..the love that makes your heart flutter..the love that trumps imperfections. .the love that is very confusing because you're loving someone today and the next minute you wana strangle them cos they annoyed you..that's what makes it so beautiful. .don't feel bad if you're single on this day..
       I'm older and wiser now..all those things I thought were important no longer matter to me..I only care about positive energy..I've realized the hard way I can only control myself and how I re-act to things and people..I don't waste precious energy on things I can't control. .life's too short...show love everyday ..every second. .every minute..every hour..after that you can then  do something extra ordinary on VAL'S DAY if u must..don't use this opportunity to just have sex and make babies you can't take care of..be responsible..grow up!..don't 'muddy' love with games..it's either you're in it or you're out..make up your doggone mind!..thanx for reading.. #shalom #gaylesgifts