Tuesday 29 August 2017

No SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE.

I have always heard this phrase since I could be aware of myself as a woman. .since I started menstruation and knowing the dynamics of womanhood and pregnancy and men and relationships..see where I'm going with this?...as a woman we were taught men wanted one thing and one thing only...we were told they only wanted sex and if they got it they would disappear. .well to some point ,we learnt it was true ,the hard way because young immature men didn't have much to worry about except having fun..so if they showed interest in a woman it was just to get into her pants..men are wired to react to what they see (physical creatures) and so you can't fault them for not sticking around after a few sexual encounters with a woman...on the other hand women are wired to respond to feelings (emotional creatures) so they are drawn to a man depending on how good he makes her feel with his words or actions..having said that human beings have deviced all kinds of theories and practices to protect themselves from being deceived by the opposite gender...
      Religion,Christianity to be precise is one major practice. .it teaches Christians to abstain from sex until marriage..to me that theory has a lot of holes in it..seeing as men need sex like we need air..or food..or anything all humans need to function properly...so if you,a woman deny your man sex it doesn't automatically mean he will love you more or less and certainly doesn't mean if he marries you before you have sex you would have a fulfilling marriage.It doesn't even guarantee he would marry you...a man does what he wants to do and not what a woman tells him to do..if he is in love with you he can change certain things to please you but it will be his choice at the end of the day..not kids,not good food ,not a banging body and certainly not abstinence from sex...men don't need a lot of pushing to have other sexual partners..they are hunters by nature and are always on the prowl..women shouldn't think a good  fulfilling relationship is going to materialize from trying to influence a man with subtle tricks .
       Men are simple creatures...but sadly women are the extreme opposite..we hear men call us crazy all the time!...sucks but it's true...the survival of a relationship doesn't ride solely on sex or lack of,in this case..there's a lot more:knowing the other party's character and how he responds to you and the outside world,whether you are sexually compatible,whether your sickles match or not are just a few things to consider...also people make the mistake of loving people the way they themselves want to be loved but everyone responds to love differently and if you love them wrongly it'll be wasted on them. ..e.g. if you're a touchy-feely lover and your partner is sapiosexual,having intelligent convos stimulates her senses and grabbing at her will not really turn her on whiles he wants to cuddle and neck and so we have to learn to compromise..and be considerate.
     What if after you waited to have sex after marriage and realize your sexual organs are not compatible? I have heard lots of men complain about their women's vagina being too large for them and put it down to them being promiscuous. .it could be the man has a small penis so the fit is not right...some women always complain of their men having huge penis thereby making the sexual encounter uncomfortable for her..these things are really important in a relationship. .if a man with an average penis gets to be paired with a woman with a tight vagina it will be a perfect fit and vice versa. .sex is an art ..like dancing..both parties complement each other to make magic.I have heard of situations where It's a couple's honeymoon it was discovered  the woman had an offensive vaginal odor ..this is a sensitive topic but it must be discussed..most men i have spoken to lament on this issue concerning women.I always thought the vagina had an accepted fishy smell but apparently some women have terrible smells..smells like 'rotten eggs' is the most description I've heard..one guy told me he had to burn his mattress after an encounter with a beautiful woman who's offensive vaginal odor stayed in his room for days and he wanted to cut off his finger which he'd used to 'touch' her..it seems a bit of an exaggeration but  it is what it is..women should be aware of this..bodily hygiene,especially vaginal ,is very important...it can be very embarrassing for the woman.especially  when your partner has to draw your attention to it.. it could be a medical problem but most of the time it is lack of proper hygiene.
       Women should be encouraged to empower themselves with education and knowledge thereby increasing their confidence level rather than making them set themselves up for a huge disillusionment with the no-sex before marriage nonsense..I've heard of stories where women did all of that and still ended up with serious STDs from their supposed faithful partners /husbands..It is good to equip yourself with all the necessary knowledge before making any decision..make informed decisions..abstinence from sex before marriage should be a personal choice not because of some religious influence or otherwise..because we are not spirits,we are living in our human forms now and every decision we make are human and has human consequences....some marriages have ended because the woman found out her husband had a tiny penis after they got married..I mean what can one do with that?..it's not your fault but why hide it from her?..these are  some of the unnecessary surprises and heartaches we can avoid if we move away from all that no-sex before marriage theory..it's all hogwash to me.
       If you want an honest sincere fulfilling relationship/marriage, it should come from both parties and their willingness to make it work..if you practice commitment,communication,respect, consideration you have a shot..always remember you WILL mess up...and when you do, be nice about it and be sincere in your remorse...shalom .

Friday 25 August 2017

STRINGS....OR NOT!


A friend just asked me this and it got my writing creative juices flowing!it is a very normal question to be asked these day and age especially since the dynamics of dating and relationships have evolved..in the African setting in the olden days the man was always the head of the home...and the woman was the home-keeper..she wasn't career oriented...or even if she was she wasn't encouraged because society wasn't ready to accept equalization between men and women...the man provided and the woman managed..so educating the girl-child was unheard of..in fact it was  a taboo... so the woman kept the home,which was in a way a full time job for her..everyone played their role well..or so it seemed!...most women lamented their woes  because they wanted to be independent...they wanted to do things for themselves. .they wanted to explore their passions and talents..these days it's been made possible with the inception of technology. ..The internet has made the world a global place..women have been empowered with knowledge and confidence and the acceptance level from society is almost complete
      In every situation though there's always pros and cons. .now there's a sort of tug-of-war between men and women for equality  at home,in work places ,in relationships..etc...women now know what they want and are standing their grounds..in relationships it's worse because it's put men at a disadvantage. .they don't get total control over the woman and egos are bruised and suffering!...I almost feel sorry for them but it is what it is!...women were settling into early marriages and relationships because they were not equipped with much education and confidence and support to do anything else with their lives..as young as 18 was the maximum. .now women are getting into late marriages and childbirth ..from mid thirties onwards..some are even having first babies in their fifties..there's so much distractions with work etc...and social media ain't helping any...it's made people unfeeling..just like robots.
      Relationships nowadays are all about selfish gain..me-me-me syndrome, I choose to call it..it's either for financial gain,or even for just a baby..before married mothers won't dream of cheating on their men but that is a thing of the past now.women couldn't cheat or they hid it  because society frowned upon it..it was a man's world they said..double-standards is what i say!...men are being tricked to father and raise up babies which are not theirs...human interactions and compassion have been relegated to a back burner collecting dust...dating has names like 'fuck-buddy, friends-with-benefits (fwb), shag-mate....or they'll say we are 'hooking up' or 'hanging out' or 'just chilling'..if you are old school like me you would be lost in all of that! I am your typical traditional woman who still believes in courtships and the whole nine yards..all hope is not lost!..my favorite is the 'no-strings' phrase because it's so ironic in as there are invisible 'strings' involved..if you wana shag exclusively that's a relationship..you see what I mean?....'invisible strings ' right there!....it's really difficult in our African setting to 'cultivate' that type of relationship..people do that to avoid getting vulnerable or emotional hurt .
    A friend of mine thinks he's perfected the right 'blend' for that ..he calls it the 'hit and run' act. .you shag once and disappear!..no history and no emotions....its kinda funny thinking about it...on the other hand though,being sexually active with someone for more than once builds emotions and history and the 'no strings' theory goes out the window...sometimes just even one sexual encounter can create emotions..the woman can get pregnant and the baby links you guys together for life...it's like a #catch 22 situation...you want to avoid emotions but end up creating them..it is what it is...relationships are beautiful and are not without pitfalls ...I always say any human relations are never perfect because everyone was raised different and we all have our good and bad days...#communication is the key...dont be afraid to let down your guard sometimes..be adventurous. .follow your heart. .live on the edge...because YOLO!...You only live once..make it count..shalom

Thursday 24 August 2017

DYNAMICS OF RELATIONSHIPS

.....chale the dynamics of relationships have changed paa oo....from pick up lines to dating to etc...some guy sees you on the #street and right there in the hot sun asks you if you dont want to marry him!..a guy stopped me whilst I was #speedwalking the other night and asked for directions to a church in the area.though I didnt know the church I tried to be helpful and the guy said I must be a Christian cos I was so nice to him!..what a laugh! the next thing he invites me to visit the same church he was asking directions to!it was just a pick up line!.he knew where the church was all along!...using Christianity by men to control,suppress and deceive women in the name of relationship is the order of the day!..people have all kinds of titles for dating nowadays...fuckbuddies,friends-with-benefits, sex mate,etc....
    People can be in a relationship for ten yrs or more doing everything (having kids,co-habiting,etc)and still call it 'dating'...people dont want to wear the boyfriend 'title' or 'cap' but want to enjoy all the #perks that come with it..they want to keep one window open and one leg out the door waiting for 'the one'..they say we are just 'kicking it' but we will have unprotected sex and you can't see any other guy apart from him.so Wat If u get pregnant wat will u do?you want her all to yourself but you say you are not her boyfriend..but you want to see other women at the same time..the couple should both agree on the terms of the union,stick to it and you get only wat u give..dont say you want one thing and expect something else...if u give more,u get more..to whom much is given, much is expected ..if u ask me there's nutin like 'the one' anywhere. ..every human being has their individual demons and come with their own bullshit so it's just a #choice of whose shit you wana deal with..it's always a choice.
     Most People want #romance without being #vulnerable...if u wana know the truth u have to stand close to it and in the process could get burned or liberated..it's always a #risk you have to be willing to take...some people think not wearing the 'boyfriend' title takes alot of pressure off the dating game cos they feel 'irrational expectations' is what kills a relationship..expectations are inevitable not only in relationships but at work,home,schools etc and even in platonic friendships. .human beings do rely on each other at one time or the other. ...it's funny tho cos if u are an independent woman and outspoken, the narrowminded African man will go the Christian route and say you don't need a man and are not submissive...yet if u expect him to help you out with financial and emotional support he'll say you are clingy and dependent..hmmm so Wat do men really want?I admit that women are more emotional than men and tend to maximize everything cos we are wired to react to what we hear(and feel) whilst men are wired to react to what they see(physical creatures).men say women are crazy cos they are too #emotional..two totally opposite sides of the human species yet we are drawn to each other by nature to procreate and build a life together ...chemistry is a very powerful force but it still doesn't overide the different traits in both sexes...
      Choice,#compromise, #communication, #compatibility , #commitment and #consistency are not words to be taken lightly...#love is a verb and showing affection is in what you do rather than in what u say...a guy meets a girl and they exchange numbers..right off the bat he starts flooding her fon with memes and chain-messages and videos and audios and Christian material without even asking the things she likes or if she's even Christian or religious for that matter!what has one got to do with the other?what happened to proper #courtship?simple stuff like spending time together and talking to know the basics things about each other.saying what you feel and think from the heart in your own words rather than forwarding something someone wrote and which has been sent to a billion or people. ....if people did that no one would jump into the next level of dating cos then you'll know if you like them enough or not.You can then decide to remain friends..You can never know everything about someone but you can know the important bits if you do proper dating and the first step is to be #friends...and you should also know that dating is always about the other person(be it the man or woman),their feelings,etc ..be considerate of their views,principles,values,etc. .people have become lazy and complacent in the pursuit of romance..does romance still even exist?. What does that word mean in these times??
      Nowadays everybody knows everything, thanx to Google ..people don't 'dig' for anything anymore..You can't teach kids anything cos with the click of a 'button' they are able to access information their mind is not developed well enough to process and understand. .call me old-school but i believe the internet and social media in some way has taken all emotions out of human #interactions. .well everything in life has its pros and cons and it's about how u manage the two...#monogamy is unnatural but we have been 'asked' to 'make it work'....I call it the biggest set-up of the #human race...despite all I've said though I love the idea of #love..a good long ,warm ,cuddle from a clean-smelling ,bald,bearded, bear of a man beats any pleasure of life!...good food is also another!.....love life and be considerate with one another...#SteveHarvey said his dad told him he would mess up in life but he should acknowledge it and be nice about it..let's all do same...shalom....#soultosoul #gaylesgifts #gaylesgists #gaylesgold #Gaylesnotes #gaylesthoughts

COMMUNICATION IN RELATIONSHIPS


#communication is a form of conveying your thoughts to another person..it could be a #request, a #response to a #question,a #reaction to a situation,expression of joy or displeasure..even #silence is a form of communication..the list is endless....#babies, and even animals communicate. .watch for e.g. a dog who is on heat and has spotted a bitch it wants to mount..study 'his" behaviour and 'her' reaction. .you self you go trust!..lol.. About 80% of human communication is by body language and the remaining 20% is by word of mouth and actions. .it's very easy to misconstrue someone's thoughts or actions or reactions or #intentions if they don't #communicate properly...#words and #bodylanguage and appropriate #actions to buttress your intentions work well together..one cannot be effective without the other..i call it 'words without meaning'...
    Men and women are very different on so many grounds but individually everybody is different because we were all raised differently..even siblings who were raised in the same household grow up to manifest their experiences in different ways..any time i reacted differently from all my siblings in any situation,my sister would always say to me ' but Gayle we were all raised in the same environment! '..she didn't understand why I reacted the way i did or do...it's because I'm more #sensitive and wired differently from the others..sometimes reactions could be a cry for #attention or a way of seeking approval or #support...or understanding. .everybody on this earth has been hurt by someone one way or the other simply because they had 'expectations '...that word has been put in such a bad light that now people are advised not to 'expect' nothing in a relationship. .but i say if u expect nothing you get nothing..not even #respect...i dont expect to be disrespected by anyone,certainly not by any man.. ofcos i have standards and expecataions..so sue me!               Ladies,list your standards down,know them and stick to them!.African men believe they are entitled to certain #privileges just because they are men..they dont feel they have to #earn a woman's 'repect' and interest. .when a woman complains about that it's called 'nagging' but when a man does it is called .....................oh yeah,they dont hav a word for it!..i say men nag too!....so there!..babies 'expect' to be dry and fed all the time..if their #expectations are not met they cmmunicate their displeasure by screaming and you'll give them attention!.. #communication and #reaction....You don't hold it against them...when you offend somone and they react by showing you their displeasure the best thing to do is acknowledge your fault and apologise or talk about it and explain your actions..e.g. a guy plans to take you out but stands you up with no explanation and you react by showing how upset you are..being upset is the right reaction because he made you unhappy with his behaviour.but instead of him saying sorry or being remorseful he would say you should've asked him what happened before reacting..why wait to show remorse?why wait for someone to show displeasure with u when you can avoid that by just communicating?
       Nobody seeks for permission to react..if someone does something positive for/to you ,you show happiness and appreciation right there and then!it's a reflex action..on the flip side if you did something nice for that same person will you ask them to ask you why you were nice before they showed their happiness ?.infact you will expect them to be happy.reactions are #instantaneous ..You don't even think about it...response to good is positive and response to bad is negative...it is what it is..acknowledge your mistakes and 'take your medicine like a man'!...we can only understand each other if we are considerate of each other's feelings..arguments are good because it makes you know what the other person likes and doesnt like so you avoid pusshing each other's buttons. Sometimes we step on each other's toes without realizing it but if we don't communicate and expect the other person to just know how you feel you'll be setting yourself up for a big disappointment. .nobody is a mindreader..the offendee should give the offender a chance if they want to explain their actions and appreciate the effort because we all make mistakes..avoiding the issue or 'sweeping it under the carpet' is the order of the day..and where did that leave us today?nowhere!..it didn't solve anything...a #problem shared is a problem half solved.
       Alot of us have bottled up our feelings because we are afraid of being judged or mocked..mentally lots of people are in pain and #suffering in silence. .#especially in marriages..keeping quiet is not the best answer..the #misery eats u up and you'll become a very unhappy person or worse commit suicide..lots of #people these days are existing instead of living..walking dead..'for better or for worse has to be scrapped from the wedding vows' because it is causing more harm than good. .'for worse' doesnt mean you should beat her up nor she should stay with you inspite of that.someone may end up being beaten to death..#abuse is abuse!mentally, physically or otherwise..and shouldn't be tolerated by anybody (men and women)..yes some men get abused in relationships by their/some women ..#psychological therapy in Ghana is not in our culture though..all our problems are attributed to the devil or some poor old woman somewhere who has been branded a witch..most pastors blame your problems on witches in your family..what is a witch anyway?and what is it they do in their 'realm' anyway?do they chant? Cast spells?what is their costume of operation?a long black coat and a long pointed black hat?well that is what I read in some books when I was younger..watched them in some movies too..those were fairy tales though..but in Africa it is a different ball game.I really wish someone will show me how the witches operate..the accoutrements they use in their 'craft' etc..I'm that curious .You can't live in Africa and not have their superstition rub off on you..Your aunty or mum will caution you to avoid a certain relative because he or she is a witch! And so you find youself avoiding that person!.
        I always MAINTAIN there is a #physical and a #spiritual world..everything that happens shouldn't necessarily be put down to some spiritual #influence. .there are things humans are capable of doing in their human form. .if u stand infront of a moving vehicle and pray all the prayers ,the car WILL hit you and you WILL suffer the #consequences. .dont get it twisted!..let's try to be real with one other in our interactions. .be #honest, #sincere, #truthful..if you are displeased show it,if you are sad,express it.If you are happy communicate it..let's stop pretending..everyone has #faults and imperfections. .be yourself,because everyone else is taken..you will mess up one time or the other,be nice when You do and the world would be better for us all..listen,process,repond..shalom .. ..#gaylesnotes #gaylesthoughts #gaylesgold #gaylesgist #soultosoul #relationshipthings

FATHERS' DAY MESSAGE


....Being a man is not easy not to talk of being a father..men are physically the strongest of the human species..They are supposed to represent #strength,#comfort,#security, #protection and #support hence the phrase 'man is the head of the home'....sometimes they take that 'role' too seriously ...so they feel they are entitled to certain benefits from women without having to earn it..some men take advantage of that and physically assault their women as a means of controlling and suppressing them but that doesn't 'make you a man'..walking away from any situation that will push you to hit a woman can prevent a lot of harm..i know women are complicated(as men choose to refer to us!),and hard to figure out but we are #compassionate and loving ..it is hard to #understand what you dont know so let's learn to adapt.
     Women also have the same dilemma concerning men,we think they are #complicated too..i know more often than not our men feel 'attacked' by women and feel unappreciated and pressured by us to do more or act in a certain way,it's just cos we love them and crave their love..I do love men.believe me!..'b33ma 33nsu' literally translated, 'men don't cry' is a phrase we hear all the time..so they don't show their emotions..makes them come accross as cold beings. .as unfeeling and insensitive..but I heard the other day men are the most emotional of the human race...amazing,right?!..when a man becomes a father he finds himself completely responsible for the welfare of another human being..he has the help of the baby's mother ofcos but men are the providers of the home so they bear the brunt of the financial responsibility. .some men do change diapers,bottle-feed, bath the baby etc and when they start growing teach them how to be independent. .some men are good cooks, they clean,are better than some women at executing house chores..oh yes they are!.I know alot..some men are better at playing the role of mothers than some women themselves .
     It's not every woman who has the 'mother genes' so alot fail at being proper mums to their children..on the flip side some men have no #business fathering a child/children..well any man can father a child but it takes a real man to be a daddy..I know lots of women who abandoned their children leaving the dads to raise them and they did a fantastic job!..kudos to them!..parents are the first #contact of the human race of children from when they are born and #absorb everything they see them doing..they are their first #teachers so we need to set good examples for them to emulate..the first #man i got to know was my dad so my idea of love and affection was experienced from him..whether good or bad children transfer these experiences into their relationships with other people because their parents are seen as their heros..i didnt live with my dad for long and i miss that warmth of having a father's influence till this day.
      Nowadays things have changed for the worse..#parents don't have time for their children because both parents have a #career..years ago women were predominantly housewives and devoted all their time and #energy to nurturing and raising their children..now that role has been left to #househelps and strangers and internet and technology ..oh yes,babies as young as a year old can operate mobile fons and tablets..they know all the games on there,all the apps,features, they know your password..I'm speaking from firsthand experience. .and mind you they know the difference between a toy fon and a real one so don't even think of deceiving them with any fake gadget..they don't play with toys no more..oh how I miss those days of 'ampe',oware (I still have mine), ludo,playing house,cooking with cooking utensils made out of tin,playing in the sand and getting lice !.
       Speaking of lice where did they all disappear to?I don't see children of today with lice in their hair..really weird..I have my own crazy experiences with lice..you could scratch ur scalp for hours like someone possesed just to get some relief from those unrelentless tiny bloodsuckers!. .then there was my mum's remedy for lice ..melted nkuto (shea Butter to my abrofo friends!) and ground camphor mixture rubbed in the hair and scalp with a tightly wrapped scarf was a nightly ritual we hated because it was so uncomfortable ! It burned and you could feel the little buggers running arround under the scarf trying to resist the deadly effects of the mixture..it's really funny thinking about it now..lol...in the mornings we would comb out the millions of dead lice onto an outspread newspaper and the feeling of triumph and victory over the lice was complete!...i had a few embarrassing situations as a result of having lice as a child because my uniform was white,and some school mates would pick them off of my white shirt and hand them to me publicly!..chale...the lice were so much that till today i have nightmares sometimes that i still got them..but I'll have the 'lice experience' again in a heart beat!..because that was my childhood and it was priceless !.let's give our children memorable childhood experiences again..let them get dirty and free..let them dance in the rain like I still do even today!.
            #fathers and men,help and love women because we can't do it without you..women need men and Vice versa..happy #fathers day to my men ,Nii Ayi Tagoe,Gideon Aryeequaye,William Nanka-Bruce III,George Boakye,Godson Laryea,Kojo Oppong,Kwame Monney,Michael Anthonio,Anthony Archie Nana Essel,Peter Wilson,Real Kgee,Praye Choirmaster Honeho,Chemphe,E.N Nkengayi,Robert Batong Hor,James Batong-Hor,Kofi Baffuor Bosompem,Nana Archer Addo,Waltz Clothings Waltzclothing,Nana Nana O'ray,Titus Titus Nana Akomeah,Richard Amartey Lyrix,Richard Amartey,Regis Amaezo,Israel Laryea,Khmani, Lawrence Adjaidoo,Rodger Adjaidoo,McLuis McLouis Josiah,Jerry paemka-Fordjour, Ukomadu Charles,Kofi Jacquaye,Abeku Wilson,..and to all fathers. .keep doing the good work..#gaylesthoughts #realtalk #gaylesgist #gaylesgist

ONE HAND WASHES THE OTHER

What is going on in this #country of ours?few days ago I'm in my room and I hear someone screaming like a banshee on a microphone outside...the #noise is right in my room..sounded like some church activity thingy...so i asked my sis what is was and she said she had no idea..I let it pass...next evening,same disturbance (I'm starting to call it that now!)..
      I go to investigate and I see three crooks (yes!) sitting on a bench practically on top of my gate !these guys have set up their speakers bla bla and are preaching!!!first of all where did they even connect the electricity from?who allowed it?...I let it slide....then very early this morning I hear them in my sleep ,thought I was dreaming..no I wasn't!...that's when I lost it!...I went straight to the guy and said it's got to stop this minute. ..he said ok but continued. ..so I called a coupla #policemen friends (what a waste of energy and airtime!that's another story for another day!.useless idiots!!!.sigh),i shouldn't have bothered!...I went back and told the preacher I was going to call the police on them..then went across the road to my neighbour Parlos Jay of Net2 tv to solicit his help..met him and his dad already cheesed off!..apparently they had spoken to the crooks and they had ignored them..even spoken to the social welfare people who operate right under our nose!...no show!.what do you make of that?!.
      Parlos and I went back to the guys again and finally they stopped....thanks Parlos!...this nonsense has got to stop!..what right have you to #disturb people's peace in the name of preaching?!!!...noise is noise!...aaargh!!!..we should respect each other's rights and space..so #everybody blames the government for everything but themselves!..the Kaneshie #market has spilled its chaff unto our streets...it's supposed to be a residential area but not any more...we have squatters who've 'lived' in the cul-de-sac on my street for #years and it's been hell! .from stinking up our gutters to robbing us..now they are cheering the 'preachers' on!..they have got to go..they've outstayed their 'welcome'...enuff is enuff!...trotro drivers use it as a parking space ..and when you want to #drive in or out it's wahala...where will I drive my car thru when it finally lands? (Lol)...seriously though it's becoming unbecoming!....what is the assembly man doing?the police station is right behind my backside but they don't do shit !. .excuse my French but I'm really pissed !!!. ...I think I'm going to stand for elections as the next assembly woman...I should...I would!!!!...#ghanaianthings #gaylesgift #gaylesgist #gaylesgold

Wednesday 23 August 2017

SAY NO TO BLEACHING

This is a very #sensitive topic but it is an issue that has bothered me for decades and i cant keep it to myself any longer!..i know a lot of my friends will #cringe after reading this write-up because it is a personal issue but it must be done!..i am coming from a #positive place so see it as such...recently i was soliciting the service of a trotro and there was some #delay because the #driver was nowhere to be found..imagine a bus filled with passengers and ready to move but the driver disappeared..
      So i am engaging the driver's mate in conversation and he asks to go look for the driver..as he turns away i watch him leave and observed he was dark skinned yet it struck me he was fair-colored from the front!..i was confused for a second...when he came back i examined him #properly and concluded he had bleached his front but couldn't be bothered with his back..usually we see bleached faces and arms and the bottom part of the #body is forgotten..what we locally refer to as 'fan-ta face,coca cola body'...seeing as your skin becomes white on the top and dark on the bottom parts...since i was young i have come across friends,relatives,acquaintances etc who dabbled in all sorts of measures to #change their skin colour...believe me i am not here to judge but when i #notice the affects of those concoctions on the skin it is worrisome to say the least...it is very odd when you knew someone to be dark skinned and years later you run into them and they are unrecognizable because they have #bleached their skin...
          My buddy Akua Blakofe has made a lot of enemies because she has voiced out her worries about this issue buT it is becoming worse...seeing as we now have #men and #children bleaching their skin... women have to start worrying when a fair-coloured man approaches them for a date....most of our  so-called celebrities have jumped on that bandwagon..all the actresses and musicians we knew as dark-colored people are now looking bright and shinny..and they keep denying they  have bleached..some actresses though explained they succumbed to the act because the movie #industry favored fair-coloured people to dark-coloured ones..so i guess talent doesn't count anymore?no wonder our non-existent film industry and movies are flooded with bleached no-talent excuses for actors!!
    The telltale give away  signs are the stubborn bits that can't be bleached...#knuckles,#elbows,#ankles,#buttock-crack...that shit is nasty!..who finds that attractive?..certainly not me!..and bleaching  makes the skin #smell.. there is no easier way to #describe it..and it is not cheap because the #creams are #expensive...the #government has to sit up..recently i read an #article about bleaching creams being banned from entering the country...lets see how that pans out..some have tried to stop the act but cannot because the skin gets damaged from too much bleaching and looks wrinkly and blotched so they are stuck with it!..we should embrace our natural selves..it is beautiful and real...watch out for the conclusion of this #post...i am not done yet!....shalom

DIY

Life's lessons are learnt on your own most of the time.i am someone who has made a lot of mistakes to arrive at this point...it has been a very confusing rollercoaster sort of journey...most of the individual puzzle pieces of my life are now falling into place...some things i did that i thought was a waste of money and time are now making sense to me..a lot of job interviews i attended...i printed so many CVs and application letters you would've thought i was using them to sell  eburo ni nkatie (roasted corn and groundnuts to my abrofo friends!)..it was very frustrating...
        I became very discouraged at some point and decided not to work for anyone any more...So my sister and I decided to start our own business #untriedcode...i have five sisters and the main worry we faced was getting quality and affordable underwear in this country of ours..with time we discovered #victoriassecret through friends abroad who got some of their products for us as gifts..when my sister got the opportunity to go live and study abroad we took the opportunity to start importing #victoriassecret undies ..we started with $500 and bought a 100panties...with time we added their body mists and brassieres and bags and lipgloss and almost every basic product of theirs...then we also expanded to selling designer menswear...
         It has been a crazy journey ..most customers like to buy on credit and sadly are not credit-worthy..but we have found away around it like we do most things..some of my other interests are writing and photography and media work...and today i have discovered another avenue of channeling my passion to the outside world...come walk with me!..shalom