sexy ironies

.....so I'm #just having a convo with my sis #and as usual we end up reminiscing our childhood #shenanigans....I never knew I'll ever say this but i actually miss my childhood. .a lot! ...life #pleasures are usually felt through ironies..it takes the #negative experiences to appreciate the #positive ones most of the time...*singing*...you only miss the light when it's burning low; you only miss the sun when it starts to snow:you only know you love her when u let her go...and you let her gooooo...forgot the artiste who sang this song but it #buttresses my irony theory....it takes pain to appreciate #happiness,#sadness to appreciate joy ,noise to appreciate silence,#poverty to appreciate wealth and the list goes on and on and on....hey let me not digress,which is a #normal thing with talkatives and yours truly is no exception...I'm a certified talkative!...back to the childhood stories!!....my sis and I were discussing illnesses and then it progressed to endoscopic experiences we had heard about and colonscopic procedures and naturally we got on to almighty bentua(bulb syringe to my abrofo friends!)..our own local colonscopic device....if you didn't have the bentua experience then you ain't an African child..my mum's best #friend was also our #neighbour..she lived literally next #door with her pastor husband and five children..she was such a wonderful mum to us..shoutout to Aunt Dot!. .she treated us and her children equally            ...whenever she cooked her meals she'd serve my siblings and I and her kids(there's and argument on the difference between kids and children but that'll be an argument for another day! I don't want to risk digressing from the main topic again) #equal portions in individual bowls/plates...and when it got to the usual purging ritual we were also not spared cos we practically lived there!.let me give a blow by blow account for those ignorant of that #proceedure..imagine about ten kids sharing one bentua at a session.. *shudder!!!!!!!*.. .
          The health #hazards and unsanitary risks were unimaginable ...but what did we know back then?!...Aunt Dot prepares the #concoction..blended fresh ginger,pepper and some other stuff...you would think she was gona prepare a meal in your stomach with all the ingredients she blended #together ...then she would ask us all to strip(why not let us leave our tops or dresses on,or even just take off just our drawers? I'll never know!!!..#smh) out on the veranda and bend and hold your toes with both hands..so ten of us are lined up and wearing our birthday suits...then she comes behind us and one by one she sticks the 'bentua' filled with the #mixture down our backsides,squeezes the bulb of the syringe and the mixture flows through the 'entrance' and into our #stomachs...and she'll ask us to jump up and down for some minutes. .it was pure #torture ..the burning sensation coupled with the #crazy urge to visit the white house and not being able to go that moment can't be written in words!...I laugh now thinking about it...nostalgia-villa...when the green light was given we all flew in #different directions to find any #receptacle to receive our 'burdens...nutin was spared! ...             hahahahahahah. ...it wasn't funny back then though...
                  #sometimes she used soapy water...imagine that!...I can't wrap my #brain around some of the #weird things our parents did back then. ..another #strange thing we witnessed as kids was when a baby was being bathed...an #empty milk tin (we called it konko) with a small hole deliberately drilled in the middle filled with pipping hot water was placed above the baby for the water to run through their #genitals and #backside continuously for atleast ten minutes. .what was the #essence of that if I may ask?..
         And do you #remember the use of baby napkins and those fat safety pins?chale it was a sight to behold the white washed napkins lined up beautifully on the drying line..and those wooden pegs to keep them in place on the line....i still have and use wooden pegs,I'm old school afterall.. no one loved the #process of cleaning the soiled diapers though..today things have been made much much easier...say hello to #wipes and #diapers !!...it's a fast-paced world now..everything is #quick quick..Every one is in a rush to do something or get #somewhere ..i can't keep up!.. sigh!!!....even the days are in a hurry ..I don't remember much of 2016 and we are already in July 2017.. where did the days go mehn???!!!!...one other #fun thing we did as kids was play house. ..we would save our insignificant pocket money and use the #pooled amount to buy tiny cooking utensils and cutlery made out of tin...then we will cook behind the house with 'borrowed ' foodstuffs from the kitchen..one time Aunty Dot's husband found us out and we were ofcos lined up and caned with those locally made bamboo canes ...#everyone was lashed according to the amount you contributed..and we were told to laugh through our tears ..eeeeeiiiiissshhhh..it wasn't a nice experience koraa..but in hindsight I'm so grateful it happened .it taught me alot ..these #days most parents are too busy working to notice what their kids are up to..so the internet is where kids seek #refuge.....
       Sometimes you'll see a young girl, maybe about fourteen years old using a #mobile fon as big as a tv set yet her whole family lives in a house as small as a 'hencoop'...it doesn't add up...something's gotta give...and the sooner the better for ur all....social media has robbed our children of their freespiritedness(can I say that?) and carefree[ness] ..and robbed human beings of their emotions and compassion..
       Everything is #fake..people don't talk anymore..we just #text...it's worrisome...let's love life again..let's take strolls,let's talk ,let's be real with our feelings..let's look out for one another..and know we will mess up..when we do let's acknowledge it and be 'nice' about it..I'm out...thanx for reading this..shalom! #gaylesgold #gaylesgift #gaylesgist #ghanathings

Dick-tionary

    Hey! It's been awhile! Suddenly I feel energised to put down some thoughts,and you know they would be orgasmic as usual! People have been asking me all the time,'when are you posting a new article'?..'you haven't posted any new article this year'!...shows how people love my work and I'm grateful ! It's amazing tho,cos it's the same guys who feel bashed by my articles who are clamouring for more! Shows I know how to give multiple orgasms! It is what it is! Lol
      I love men! Oh,yes I really do! It's not even sexual. It could be,but hey,lemme focus on one angle for now! Have you ever looked at the male anatomy? I mean,really well? And yes I'm talking to both men and women! When you first see a naked man,what immediately catches your eye? Be honest! For me,I immediately home in on his penis and testicles, not cos it's beautiful or anything crazy like that. It's just for the mere fact ah no get some! Also they are 'weird-looking' images.
    A shaft. Two balls. A rod. Two testes. A pole,and his two friends. Jewels. Member. Manhood. Tool-Box. Dick. Korti. I could go on and on! The descriptions of the Male's naked goods are endless! It can be small when 'asleep ' and 'hard and erect' when 'awake '.
   Guys,did you know women don't really find the penis appealing to look at? Infact we are sometimes embarrassed to stare at it. We avoid looking at it if we could. I think it's cos we are not 'visual ' creatures like men are. One friend of mine used to say 'chale,enter me and do your thing and let's move on! Just simply means,she doesn't have to look at the penis to necessarily get turned on before having sex. Women are connected to guys sexually on a mental level and that is why we can switch off on a guy sexually when he messes up. You can find your man's penis 'sexy' though when you're on a serious emotional connection with him. But if the dick is just there highlighted on its own,we just see it as maybe a sausage and two yam balls or summin! Lol
  So I find it weird when plenty guys send me their dick pics as a form of greeting. I dunno if psychological because they're are prone to be easily 'moved' by a woman's  naked body,they assume the reverse is true for us. I really wana know how the men who send me those pics think. I never get to ask them cos I actually cringe at those pics and delete them,after telling the senders off,spiced with some choice words of cos! It is akin to meeting a stranger on the streets and you just open your fly and show her your penis. Who does that???!!!! Sigh.
       Guys,do you feel insecure about your dick size? Does the phrase 'size matter' make you uncomfortable? Do you feel your whole being is connected to that one part of your body? Hypothetically if women were not in the picture would the size of your penis matter to you? Do you feel less of a man if your dick is 'small'? Does the size matter to you more than the skill? Oh,I have lots of questions on this topic and I wish to have them answered ! Oh,how I wish!
      Morning erections at half mast. Hmmmm! Someone special told me it was more of a 'nature' thing rather than a sexual thing. But can quickly turn sexual if the guy has a woman he likes lying by him. And that's when the term 'morning glory ' was birthed! Suddenly I'm feeling hot with the memories of some at dawn sexcapades I've experienced! Hmmmm!
     Bulges. BULGES! Ladies you know what I mean! When you meet a guy wearing either snug-fitting clothes or has his jewels 'unsheathed'. Commando style! Your eyes immediately home in on that region like magnet to a metal object! I wonder if guys are uncomfortable when we do that same way we are uncomfortable when they stare at our breasts. I think sometimes the bulges are a bit too obvious hence the invention of 'holster undies' for them to package their goods well !
    Funny though,some men have actually had their dicks removed. Ever heard of an eunuch? I first came across that culture years ago when reading books was orgasmic! These days social media has just taken over everything! Eunuchs shocked me with their 'brave' move to remove the one thing that identified them as part of the male specie. It made me wonder if the penis was really all that then. Cos whiles one male psyche is shaken because he has a small dick, another man just doesn't wana have anything to do with his penis,and removes it from his body! I'm weighing this two connected but totally opposite profound mindsets and I'm totally lost! I'm a woman  after all,what do I know about dicks,except to taste it and name it! Lol
     I'm wondering. Are women unfair to men? Who started that 'size matter' trend? Are both men and women to blame? Who introduced dildos to women? What was the last straw that broke the camel's back in the journey to orgasm-land that allowed an artificial tool to 'replace' the real penis? Women,are you really satisfied sexually by your man? Dildo on one hand, warm erected dick on the other,which would you choose? Which choice actually gets you there?
    Did you know penetrative sex doesn't get some women there. If you know what I mean! *wink*....so it looks like the penis is not the only source of sexual satisfaction for all women like it's made to seem. There's so many ways of killing a cat for sho!
     Keeping the dick clean is  very important! Chale imagine leaning in to give him head and then a wave of heat and smell hits you in the face! Chale there knorr you fit collapse sef! Traumatising doesn't even begin to describe the feeling! And of cos keep zee boxers neat. And we dont want no Amazon forest look. We ain't coming to hunt for lions! Maybe anacondas perhaps! Or worms! Lol ! So shave your pubes.
       Anytime I'm editing my articles i put myself in my readers' shoes to try and see how they relate to the things I write about. It is always from a place of wanting to share my craft with the world positively. Thanx for reading! #shalom #gaylesgifts #mztooknow

Sidechick and wife wahala.

 I don't think the title 'wife' or 'sidechick' defines who a woman is. Those are just labels placed on her by the man who's playing both fields. That's why a wife can be given 'sidechick perks' whiles the sidechick can get a 100% commitment from the mutual man they're seeing. That's why a woman should be her own woman before getting involved in a relationship. Be whole. Be complete. Know your strengths and weaknesses. And see a man as enhancement and not someone to complete you. Cos with or without a man you should be able to stand on your own two feet. Lots of married people come to that realisation early on or late in the relationship. But you should be in control of your own self and happiness. Men should learn that too,be your own man. You don't need to force a woman to make you what you're not. A real man is a real man is a real man on his own. Read that again! People would definitely disagree with me. Some would even insult me. But when you're alone with yourself and your pillow,you would know I'm damn right! #shalom #mztooknow #gaylesgifts