Saturday 12 October 2019

block his cock


      I've never fancied what we term 'fair coloured' guys...I've never dated any...never found any of them attractive...don't get me wrong..lots of them are nice to look at but I'll rather just flirt with them or just be friends...not for any particular reason,just for the simple fact that I'm just attracted to 'dark-skinned' guys...but these days I deliberately steer clear off of them cos plenty of them have most likely bleached their skin,or what those in denial wana term 'toned' their skin...and I dunno what's worse;their uneven skin tone coupled with dark spots all over, against the dark knuckles or the pungent smell that comes with the consequences of #bleaching..speaking of uneven skin tone,I wonder how bleached testicles and penis would look like..did u know someone actually created a cream specifically for the dark knuckles?..it's called,brace yourself, KNUCKLE-CORRECTOR!!.just can't wrap ma brain around it!...come to think of it,maybe I should start recommending knuckle-correctors for those obnoxious douchebags men I run into on a daily!..they'll need it to 'correct' their  stick-up-the-ass behaviours!...just saying!
      You know the saying 'if a guy really wants u he would make the first move and do everything to get u'?..I'm going to scatter it!.lol...women are very emotional creatures, I think men are too but they mask it or manifest it differently from women..but that's another topic for another day!..let's focus on women and how they 'feel' and operate..so I see a guy I like. .I want him to know..and I feel confident to tell him cos we have some cool rapport going on..I don't mind being vulnerable. .I don't think it through excessively cos afterall it's just being honest about my feelings...I want to talk about it with him..I want to 'communicate' it to him..and someone,I dunno who,but it's a man for sure!,says wetin!..I should sit and wait like a robot until he makes the first move!..aargh!..is it not the same thing we're feeling?why should my making the first move signify desperation?..yet a guy making the first move signifies what?..if I tell him I like him and he says he's not feeling me like that,I'll be disappointed but nutin spoil..yes you men like to hunt but so do we!..I'm sure it's news to most of you guys but we do like a good chase too..I'm one of them !. .I like to be able to pay a guy I like compliments ..I like to be able to ask a guy out without him feeling intimidated..I want to be able to discuss my interest and needs and visions with him without having being made to feel like I'm loose or a gold-digger.
      Speaking of gold digging , I'm sure lots of women have been made to feel like that even though it's far from what our intentions are.The term gold-digger stems from a situation where a woman or a man (people always tend to conveniently overlook that bit !)  forms a relationship or marriage with a wealthy person for solely finacial gain..emphasis on WEALTHY! so why is it that when someone(a woman mostly) asks a not wealthy guy to help her achieve a simple need as food or airtime for e.g. you call her a gold digger?. .my guy,get over yourself!..how much koraa you get wey u dey see yourself as a place where dem dey dig for gold?..it's golddigger,not sand-digger abeg!..commot for there! LOL!
     Recently I was in the midst of about ten guys who were playing basket ball...me, I just went to watch them and drool over the sexy bodies cos I dunno the rules of the game!..all I know is guys will be chasing one ball and whoever gets it puts it into a hole!..*wink wink * ..hhehehhehe...so after the game we got into a lively banter about women/men relationship shenanigans. ..ofcos!..lol...I made a point that I felt relationships were about being secure and confident in yourself enough to allow your partner be themselves without trying to control their movements. .and one of the guys was like if a woman gives her man such freedom her man would stray..and I  was like as if a man needs any reason to stray !. .you guys always bemoan that women are too clingy,too jealous,too emotional,too dependent and now I say we will give you space to breathe,you say wetin!..guys kasa!...girls abr3!!!...I say guys don't know what dey want!
    Lemme flip things a bit..I often times hear some women complain they don't like a one-minute-man but guess what,other women prefer a ' one minute man'!...if you're jungle-minded like myself you'll get where I'm coming from!.. I enjoy a rough,quick roll in the hay ..those moments are fast,hard and explosive so definitely cannot last for more than a minute.. it's about quality and not quantity,I'll tell u for free!. .who wants sex that drags on and on till eternity!..why,ebe marathon we dey run?!!!...let the foreplay last long and the actual thrusting be brief  and precise and hard, thereby achieving the climax with a big bang (pun intended! !)...very real talk!
         It took me a loooonnggg time of heartache and deception to come to the realisation that monogamy is the biggest set-up ever!...lots of us will fail at it..I've never cheated tho, not because I'm not capable but just that that's how I operate. .a monogamous person is not a yardstick for measuring integrity or uprighteousness (I hope this is a word!heheheh).I know real great men who still stray from their main woman... It's hard for a guy to stick to one woman for life...and I'll tell you that for free again!..and since they're afraid to let the woman know this, they'll rather lie and pretend to be faithful..be we women have found out the hard way that it's mostly impossible and that's why we get upset with them..not cos they cheated but cos they lied they could do it.so let's be real with ourselves and our partners. I know I'll be bashed for this by the so-called happily married people but we all know they're suffering in silence .being faithful is not the only sign of a happy relationship. Someone can be faithful and still be an asshole at home ..beating up their partner,abusing them mentally, controlling them obsessively etc..let's get the right balance..respect your partner..don't abuse them!
        People don't like to hear the truth,not because they don't agree with u but because you've been bold enuff to say it out loud whiles they're would rather sweep it under the carpet..I've always been a realist and very outspoken and that's why I'm called MZTOOKNOW ...lol. ..let's all try hard to be real. It's not easy but let's try..thanx for reading.. Shalom  #gaylesgifts

Saturday 28 September 2019

my name is Adjo

       I never knew a day would come when I'll be so proud of this name!..knowing the tribe I belong to in Ghana and it's negative connotation you'd understand where I'm coming from..when I was growing up my dad and everyone else called me Adjo and ofcos it didn't mean anything to me cos I grew up in an environment where English was the only spoken language,seeing as mummy was Akuapem from Gyakiti,Akuamu Fie and Daddy was from Vakpo in the Volta region..both couldn't speak speak each other's local dialect so English it was!..so I speak English..I think English..I eat English..I write English..I'm horny in English !!. .*wink wink*!..
       When we came back to live in Ghana I was introduced to my mum's people first cos we lived in her family home,the house she grew up in..they spoke twi so gradually I learnt to speak it..it was a bit of a struggle cos everywhere we went people automatically spoke English with us and till this day people laugh at me when I speak twi . .they say I do it with an accent!..I've become very self-conscious about it..it was the same when I was in school. .my mates thought I was pretending not to 'know' the language..that I was pretending to be someone who grew up in the western world and all I could speak was English...it was a very hard time for me which added to my low self esteem..I just coiled further into my shell and never talked much..
     Dad's people spoke Ewe and I never learnt the language cos I didn't live with him nor his family for long..it hurts me cos that was my identity and I feel lost...my name is Adjo..the name given to a girl from the volta region born on monday..when I was younger everyone called me Adjo...when I got into my teens and slowly began to realise how Ghanaians regarded ewes I did everything possible to 'dismiss' that name and use only my English name..sad ,cos I'm not English but that is what my people appreciated more than the most important thing that gave us our identity...names are very important. .soon as you hear someone's name you easily know which country they come from...it hurts me that in Ghana there's too much 'tribalism' and people just stereotype u based on just that...I almost lost my sense of self cos I couldn't be allowed to be a proud Ghanaian.
      People assume I'm not Ghanaian because of my looks...that I can't do anything about...but in the course of the years I've slowly come into myself as a proud African. .a proud Ghanaian at that..though there's so much that can be done to make Ghana a proud country I still lift my head up knowing I belong somewhere which is saying much cos lots of people don't have that privilege...I started adding Adjo to all my official documents...cos I wasn't ashamed anymore and I knew I wasn't what people thought of my tribe..I was so much more than that..I decided to tell everyone I was called Adjo cos I had an answer for anyone who pressumed to 'know' me just cos of my name..ewes have been associated with juju and witchcraft and evil doings...I don't dabble in those things...I'm not evil...they forgot to add that ewe women are beautiful and regal and intelligent and go-getters,which I proudly am!!..if you think otherwise,sue me!..or shoot me,which ever suits you!..it is ALWAYS hard to accept who you are and own it but when u do,nothing is more
fulfilling!
        I'm a 41year old woman.I am very single and very sensual..very happy...lots of people are shocked at my age cos they say I look way younger!..I'll put my looks down to good genes and also to staying away from bullshit..I'm a walking bullshit-o-meter..hehehe...I always go for the shock factor and this is something new to those who knew me in my teens...cos I used to be the opposite..very clingy,very insecure,very unhappy, very depressed. .
          I had a serious case of inferiority complex because my dad wasn't in our lives when I was six....it was so bad that eventually I had a nervous breakdown whiles writing my Alevels..i had suicidal thoughts a lot...it was a very tough time for me cos I couldn't share it with anyone..though i tried to tell a few people about my pain,they didnt get it..all i did was cry and cry and cry some more.. when I started dating I saw my dad in every man I met and I was so insecure cos I knew they would leave like my dad did..so i would deliberately date guys i knew were toxic .
         I bottled up everything inside and eventually exploded!..when  I was three an 'uncle' put his penis in my hand and today I know it was sexual abuse but back then I was too young to comprehend what it was not to talk of putting it into words to tell someone...that's one of the issues with people today..people are not very understanding of other people's pain and so we tend to just bottle things up hoping it'll go away.putting yourslef out there in your rawness and imperfections is very very very hard cos of the insults and judgemental attitude from others.. people always try to caution me not to be real but as you can tell i don't listen to them!
      Your mental health is not to be taken lightly...when i had my nervous breakdown i thought i was going crazy...my mum took me to churches for prayers initially and i was just getting worse by the day...i was physically and emotionally drained.. eventually she had the foresight to take me to the hospital..
.finally I got better...to aid me in my healing process I started keeping diaries.
   Years later I would sometimes go and read old stuff I wrote to remind me of how far I've come..with time i started a blogsite and that's where I poured out my heart and my pain..what I've been through is what inspires my vision to want to be a counsellor to help others .we all go through pain and if it's not dealt with properly it could manifest itself in more harmful ways in future...today I know why I was like that back then and I vowed never to put myself through that again..you and only you are responsible for your happiness.
       No one is equipped to handle all your emotional requirements cos they're not even done with theirs yet.'for better or for worse is a fallacy' and some people get disillusioned quickly and learn to be more independent by enjoying their individuality in their relationships, while others would rather suffer it through and take those words literally ...being real with yourself is the most liberating thing ever..you feel free.. you feel young..being single is orgasmic cos you use that time to 'learn' yourself and love yourself.
       I always say my personality gives me multiple orgasms all the time cos I dey feel masef too much!..when you enjoy being single you'll enjoy being in a relationship/marriage cos you'll learn quickly that you can be with somebody but still be 'alone' most of the time! I remain MzTooknow..
Thanx for enjoying my mind.shalom #gaylesgifts

Monday 13 May 2019

Mothers' DAY?

    Mothers are #women..women are potential mothers..not every woman is going to be a biological mother in the sense of the word..a mother is literally someone who births a #child from her womb...let's not confuse mother with woman. .people make it so automatic ,especially during the MOTHERS' DAY period,that every woman is a mother...that puts a lot of pressure on those who are dying to have their own biological kids and it makes us lose sight of the fact that there are horrible mothers out there too. .there are kids who wish they were not born due  to the harsh harsh treatment they get from their parents, especially their mothers...on MOTHERS' DAY every mother is #special, loving ,kind bla bla just to buy into the fakery of keeping up appearances but we know different...Mothers are human beings who mess up  like us too so they can't be that perfect like we tend to portray them..in Africa it's assumed that you owe your mother something just cos she carried you in her womb for nine months..she made the choice to have the baby..so she rather owes it to that baby to give them the best foundation and a good 'launch pad' on which that child would take off into the world to live their own life when they're of age.. lots of women walked out of their kids' lives leaving them to fate ..if they're lucky their dads or some #family member or a benevolent person takes them in and cares for them..this MOTHERS DAY period dismisses the role men play in the conception and birthing of a child..most men,especially in Africa are seen as useless,deadbeats,irresponsible etc but most mothers are equally same...so let's not get it twisted..
          Someone said any idiot(a man) can 'father' a child(as in just have #sex and get a woman pregnant) but it takes a real man to raise a child ..same goes for women. .any idiot  (a woman) can also lay with a man and get #pregnant and give birth but it takes a compassionate woman to nurture a child...having said that I know #people would wana chew me up for being blunt but deep down they know I'm saying the reality on the ground. .alot of people #suffer in silence cos in Africa your mum is revered like a god and you can't say anything bad about them..but everyone's story is different and they should be allowed to tell it regardless of how offended someone might get.. some people have such great relationships with their mum that it's hard for them to believe anyone else might experience anything opposite..but people do and I'm speaking from experience.. my situation was and is what I call physically-present-emotionally-absent syndrome. ..it's everywhere!
       Birthing a #child is just one part and nurturing and guiding to adulthood is another. .alot of our parents fail at that...affection for one's kids is something most African parents don't get...they treat their kids like it's their fault for being born..specially if it's in a situation where finances are low or the mother is a single mum..and if the circumstances under which she became a single mum were/was  the fault of her spouse/partner then woe betides the kids cos they would be blamed for everything ..through beatings,insults,knocks on the head,deprivation of essential things needed, mental abuse and more beatings! !!..you're forced to hawk to be able get #food to eat..I feel very bad when I see kids selling on the streets I get upset cos they're paying for the mistakes of a grown-up somewhere .I've experienced hawking at a very young age and it wasn't cool..it was dangerous cos of the roads we crossed,at night it was crazy,we were left to the mercy of paedophiles and thieves..it's not the kid's fault and they shouldn't have to be put through that!..and it must STOP !. .it's not safe out there and kids should be home safe under the protection of their parents..there are lots of sick and wicked and twisted people out there and we need to keep our children away from them..
     Today being MOTHERS' DAY brings out mixed feelings and reactions in people all over the world...it's a huge deal for loads of people..for me I can't celebrate it cos I don't have that kind of relationship with ma mum tho she's still in my life today..she never started any intimate connection with me now that I'm grown, it's too late to start it now...and it's a very painful subject for me but I have to talk about it so I feel a little better in my #spirit...I wonder if our parents are aware of the kind of damage they inflict on the kids with their attitudes. ..I really wonder..I think parents should listen more and 'parent' less..kids do what grownups do and not much of what they say..kids look up to their parents for everything cos parents are the first 'people' they get to meet and live with so we better be good examples for them to emulate..
      Today was a very very emotional day for me..lemme explain why..few days ago I saw an advert on ETV GHANA asking people to nominate single mothers for a MOTHERS' DAY treat being organized by a Ghanaian actress named Luckie Lawson..I have lots of friends who vend in my area and at the Kaneshie market close to my house so I decided to recommend one to ETV GHANA in a voicenote..this woman lives in a kiosk by the cemetery with her three young kids and still gifts me her wares. .amazing ,right!..infact that's the kind of relationship I've got with all my market-women and men friends..they are always gifting me their ways and I try to return the favor whenever I can..anyway this particular woman has got no electricity nor running water nor much money but she tries to sell fruits or angwamuu (steamed white rice accompanied with fried egg,freshly ground red chilli pepper and tinned sardines..for those who don't know,it's a very delicious Ghanaian delicacy and it's very affordable! )...so ETV accepted my nomination and that's when the drama started!..this woman didn't want to send her picture as required cos she had superstitious beliefs that it could be used for demonic rituals !. .OMG!...later she came back to me to say she'd changed her mind and would take part in the #program cos someone said they knew me well  and i wouldn't harm her!..I almost cancelled everything but ETV GHANA called me to bring her for her grooming..the other selected single mums  were there yet this woman acted out the whole day ..she wouldn't eat,didn't like her new hairstyle etc and i got home in the evening with a banging headache from the stress!!!!..next day which was MOTHERS' DAY was the dinner for the women..at the dinner the selected women were all giving money,and any accoutrements each needed to help their trade grow..in my friend's thank-you speech she broke down and thanked me for being patient and not giving up on her cos she realised the whole program was harmless...#everyone got emotional and I was just happy I could impact a mother through someone else...I doff  my heart to all those who sponsored the program!...good job done!!
       Anytime I try/tried to open up about this #issue concerning my relationship with my mum people tried to shut me up..as if i don't know what I'm about..as if i don't know my #left from my #right..as if i don't know #good from #bad...I'm an #adult and i damn well know if someone or something hurt me so please let people feel free to #speak up cos it's damaging to bottle up  things and pretend everything's fine..those whose mums who passed when they were kids and had to grow up with a wicked step mum(she's also a woman,right?!) also have their stories..let's be sensitive even if we do not understand it all.
      This article is my truth. .my story...my pain...my reality...it's for me and anyone else who can relate...Thanx for reading.. #shalom #mztooknow #gaylesgifts #hibernate
     
       

Sunday 7 April 2019

dick-trending

      You decide what your woman does with her own hair yet when she asks for money for this same hairstyle you CHOSE ,you balk at the responsibility saying African women are not independent!.. you get to do what you like with your own hair but cos you're a man you're presumtious enough to tell the woman she can't be free to do what she likes with her own hair!..a full grown-arse woman who should know her left from her right!..*sigh*..and in the name of love and ' for better or worse' the woman enables him..someone I know made her intention to loc her hair known to her fiancĂ© and his response was she should wait until after wedding .and she obliged!..yet here she was lamenting her grievances to those who wanted to listen!..so if they get married and he changes his mind,what then?..is she a child?..is it a parenting school or a partnership? ..bullocks I say to both of them!.so just the fact that you have a dick makes you better than someone who has a vagina?how does that even make sense?..nothing said about IQ. .nothing said about smartness...nothing said about values...just have a dick and you can rule over the world and everything else in it!..when the women like myself protest we are labeled FEMINISTS..and in Africa it actually means someone who doesn't need a man..*rolling my eyes*...ok so what if she doesn't need a man,is that a crime?..will that cause world war 3?..we're  too narrowminded as Africans and that really makes me question our so-called independence from the western influence our leaders have been trying to force down our throats since time immemorial! . If the leaders themselves don't get the concept of independence how the hell will they understand the desire  of a woman dying to remove  the noose of 'it's a man's world' tied around her neck since the stone age !
        Our great great great great great grandmothers found themselves  in this situation and couldn't protest cos they were limited and with no voice with which to speak up..it was like not being dumb but couldn't speak..like being forced to wear a straitjacket tho not certifiably bonkers. .you know how that feels!!..like being cooped up in a small narrow bottle with the cork screwed on tight. .and you're trying to break free cos you can't breathe!..I wasn't obviously born back then but I instinctively know how it was..women's psyche has not changed since then..so there!..we've ALWAYS felt stunted and unappreciated and not supported by the male specie..like we have to have their approval in everything we do!..the decision was made for women way back not to be educated and be liberal..I think man has always been threatened by a woman's strength and I wonder why. .it's not a competition..naturally there are things a man can't do and vice versa and nobody can change that..it is what it is!..but when it comes to intelligence, mindset,drive and everything else it goes beyond gender..it's simply an individual thing..and why must the 'silent war' between the male and female species be centred around relationships? !!!! There's more to our existence than marriages and procreation and submission to the man (I detest that word now for obvious reasons!)..in our African setting a woman's worth is determined by her marital status..as long as she's not hitched nobody wants to hear what she has to say..and sadly lots of woman have bought into the idea cos they've been conditioned to feel incomplete otherwise..and these women 'fight' the other women who are happy being single..I weep inside and 'outside' everyday because I don't get how this rot started and why and by whom?!!!!!
        It is not a woman's job to make a man feel like a man..you should be a 'man' on your own..you don't need her validation on how to be a man. ..so stop putting it down to your ego and how it will be bruised when a woman intimidates you with her formidable self..a woman can't make you be what  you're not.. be a 'man' on your own merit and not on your penis alone..I wonder how women who have had {the}sex change would be viewed now by men cos afterall it takes only a penis to be powerful they say...nansins!..most men are so focused on how a woman responds to their fuck-ups rather than his fuck-up itself!..they're always like 'it's how she says it'!!..but how does that change anything?..if he's wrong,he's wrong.. .men,work on upgrading yourself to meet the psyche of the
independent African woman you preach you're looking for.
         These days the mondern African woman like myself ,knows exactly what she wants in a potential partner ..or rather we are not quick to settle for less in a relationship so easily  like we were forced to do sometime back. We have learned how to READ between the lines and stick to our standards..I've always maintained relationship[s] is/are teamwork..I'll tell you for free that if you like to ALWAYS fly solo you have no business building a life with anyone!..
    lemme digress a bit.. I rember one incident way way back when I was dating this guy..how we met was weird..I was one time browsing the internet at an internet cafe and I found myself chatting with someone on Yahoo messenger..within minutes we both realised we didn't know each other..apparently the last person who'd used the computer I was using hasn't signed out of his yahoo and that's how come all that confusion came about..but me and this new guy decided to make something positive out of it all and exchanged contact details..to cut a long story short we started dating cos there was chemistry between us...one time we went to a restaurant on one of our dates..when my food came he ate with me..when his food came he ate it all by himself. .wow!..time came for us to leave and the waiter came up to me for money for my bill. .I was shocked cos I assumed my date would pay for both of us..apparently he'd paid for his share without telling me..I just paid my share and we left..I dunno why I'm remembering this incident now and whether it's linked to this article in anyway..but I'm sure someone would learn the lesson I learnt from it,which is to always be prepared financially to foot your own bills when out on a date. .makes you independent as a woman and helps you avoid any unpleasantness.
          If it's a man's world why does he need a woman to feed him,take off his shoes for him,feed his kids ,do laundry and fuck him too?..and all these she does AFTER she's worked like himself all day earning a living!..If he's the man of the house shouldn't the roles be reversed? Shouldn't he be the one doing all the household chores and allow the woman who is seen as the weaker sex relax and do nothing?...afterall being a leader is not about leaving everything to your 'subordinates ' while you sit and be waited upon hand and foot!..these are genuine questions cos I feel a leader or head should lead by example for the others to follow...
      Men have been set up by their own species... greatest bretrayal ever!..our male ancestors and men all over the world who lived centuries ago thought they were doing themselves some good  when they came up with rules to protect themselves from the 'power ' of women..maybe it worked for them back then. .I can't tell cos we were not there but I know today in our time,those rules don't work..even most modern men kick at the idea cos they can't live up to it. .the times are different now..people's mindset are different. .technology has evolved beyond man's thinking...chale, it is what it is!
   They say wait for the man to propose marriage to a woman but guess what,her answer is what would make or break the relationship! ..who's the boss now?!..even when he brings the dowry the woman would still be asked by her family 'should we accept them?'..If she says 'no' ,my guy forget everything!. .all situations have been orchestrated for a man to feel in charge of the woman and society at large has been conditioned to accept it..that's why women these days are fighting for empowerment  but we don't need to cos we're already powerful since time immemorial.men and women are all powerful in our unique ways..let's accept that and allow women to function as they're supposed to and men should support them!..thanx for reading...#shalom #gaylesgifts #mztooknow
     

Thursday 14 February 2019

shag day

     'Love is  very fragile and we're not always the best caretakers'..it just simply means you tell your love story how you want it..you speak the love language how you and your partner understands it..you can get it wrong..you WOULD get it wrong..we can get it right..we COULD get it right..it's neither here nor there..the love journey is never -ending..it's ongoing ..you can say 'it didn't work out' when it ends,but as long as you're still 'speaking' it you can't say 'it's worked out'...because that's just the way it is..it is what it is.
   This article was inspired by today's date..14th February. .a day called Valentine's day..named after the man who expressed his love for a woman in a unique way..a man who showed his love to her everyday and all the time..the love language is not of words alone but of actions and deeds too..it is consistent. .it is regular. .it is not an afterthought. .it is not what society says it should be..it is not what religion says it should be..and it is certainly not what your next door neighbour says it should be. .your relationship doesn't have to make any sense to anyone but you and your partner. .people say 'money makes the world go round' but I SAY 'love makes the world go round'..go ask the nomads or those natives for example, who live deep in the forests..in their world love trumps money,houses, even clothes cos they don't see the essence of covering up their natural nakedness..they're free mentally and physically..and they stay together as one people..they fall in love..they procreate..and they survive...so don't tell me you can't build a life of love with someone unless you've got lots of money!
       In Africa,especially in Ghana where I come from,VAL'S day is a keeping-up-appearances affair these days..people don't hold hands in public..they don't kiss in public..lovers don't hug. .couples stand side by side like tin soldiers even on their wedding day..the sex talk is taboo..but on VAL'S DAY the whole country is shrouded in red..I must admit I used to buy into that crap..my first boyfriend wanted us to celebrate that day together..I was like 16 at the time..a time before internet and social media and all the fakery..man was broke tho..but back then those things didn't really matter because we didn't have any distractions like whatsapp and selfies and people actually put in the effort to invest their time and energy into relationships..visits,walks ,talks etc were 'values' that couldn't be taken for granted because money couldn't buy that..back to my story..I got him a card and used my last peanuts to buy some cheap 'champagne '..I'm sure it was just water,color and sugar in a bottle but how we go do am! ..lol..can you believe the idiot picked the gifts up that he was gona chill the drink so we meet in the evening to drink it but I never saw the playa again that day. .I went to his house and waited till the world came to an end..there was no mobile fon to call him to know where he'd disappeared to..heard later he took some other chick out..if I'd seen him that day I would've crashed my champagne bottle on his coconut head!..so why did he plan to celebrate love and do me like that?!!..pressure pressure pressure!
         Another incident occurred ,this time around with a different potential boyfriend..I was a bit older then but still naive on hindsight..so VAL'SDAY came and ofcos I didn't have any red dress..what's with the red red ish anyway!!!..he took me shopping and eventually he bought two options of a wine velvet gown and a pants/top 'costume '..when evening came I chose to wear the gown..we decided to double-date with a sister of mine and her then boyfriend..we went a night club..not long after we arrived my date abruptly said he was leaving..gave us money for taxi and left..whaaaaaattt!!..we decided to leave too and guess what,when we came out my date hadn't left but was lurking in the dark spying on me!..ei!. .so i asked him to take us home. .this man drove like all the demons in hell were chasing him!..it was a wonder we made it home in one piece!..I dared to ask him what was eating him and he said i was talking to other people at the club..OMG!!..so I couldn't talk to my friends cos you're insecure?you almost got us killed on the road cos your testosterone was bruised??!!!..so our VAL'S DAY ended on such a sour ugly note!..guys make it look like it's a MAN'S WORLD' yet they always need the validation of a woman to feel that way!
        VAL'S DAY is a commercial affair now and it's all about making money..everyone one jumps on that wagon not even knowing where it's headed..spending money on gifts and functions we can't  afford. .ur man beats you up on a daily basis. .he doesn't sleep at home..there's no love connection..no love affection..no proper communication yet on VAL'S DAY you insist he gives you a gift or else it is over!..your woman denies you sex because she is waiting for marriage..yet she is having sex with someone else..you go out on Valentine's day and you're both on your fon the whole doggone time!..so you see,distance between lovers is not only about location but you can even both be in the same bed together and there isn't any connection..love should be showed everyday and to hell with Valentine's day!..all the blood donations etc are acts of charity and kindness which should be expressed everyday..why wait for a particular day to be kind?..and then wait a whole year to repeat it!..if you want to celebrate this day then, know it is about the romantic kind of love between people IN LOVE..the love that makes your heart flutter..the love that trumps imperfections. .the love that is very confusing because you're loving someone today and the next minute you wana strangle them cos they annoyed you..that's what makes it so beautiful. .don't feel bad if you're single on this day..
       I'm older and wiser now..all those things I thought were important no longer matter to me..I only care about positive energy..I've realized the hard way I can only control myself and how I re-act to things and people..I don't waste precious energy on things I can't control. .life's too short...show love everyday ..every second. .every minute..every hour..after that you can then  do something extra ordinary on VAL'S DAY if u must..don't use this opportunity to just have sex and make babies you can't take care of..be responsible..grow up!..don't 'muddy' love with games..it's either you're in it or you're out..make up your doggone mind!..thanx for reading.. #shalom #gaylesgifts