Mothers are #women..women are potential mothers..not every woman is going to be a biological mother in the sense of the word..a mother is literally someone who births a #child from her womb...let's not confuse mother with woman. .people make it so automatic ,especially during the MOTHERS' DAY period,that every woman is a mother...that puts a lot of pressure on those who are dying to have their own biological kids and it makes us lose sight of the fact that there are horrible mothers out there too. .there are kids who wish they were not born due to the harsh harsh treatment they get from their parents, especially their mothers...on MOTHERS' DAY every mother is #special, loving ,kind bla bla just to buy into the fakery of keeping up appearances but we know different...Mothers are human beings who mess up like us too so they can't be that perfect like we tend to portray them..in Africa it's assumed that you owe your mother something just cos she carried you in her womb for nine months..she made the choice to have the baby..so she rather owes it to that baby to give them the best foundation and a good 'launch pad' on which that child would take off into the world to live their own life when they're of age.. lots of women walked out of their kids' lives leaving them to fate ..if they're lucky their dads or some #family member or a benevolent person takes them in and cares for them..this MOTHERS DAY period dismisses the role men play in the conception and birthing of a child..most men,especially in Africa are seen as useless,deadbeats,irresponsible etc but most mothers are equally same...so let's not get it twisted..
Someone said any idiot(a man) can 'father' a child(as in just have #sex and get a woman pregnant) but it takes a real man to raise a child ..same goes for women. .any idiot (a woman) can also lay with a man and get #pregnant and give birth but it takes a compassionate woman to nurture a child...having said that I know #people would wana chew me up for being blunt but deep down they know I'm saying the reality on the ground. .alot of people #suffer in silence cos in Africa your mum is revered like a god and you can't say anything bad about them..but everyone's story is different and they should be allowed to tell it regardless of how offended someone might get.. some people have such great relationships with their mum that it's hard for them to believe anyone else might experience anything opposite..but people do and I'm speaking from experience.. my situation was and is what I call physically-present-emotionally-absent syndrome. ..it's everywhere!
Birthing a #child is just one part and nurturing and guiding to adulthood is another. .alot of our parents fail at that...affection for one's kids is something most African parents don't get...they treat their kids like it's their fault for being born..specially if it's in a situation where finances are low or the mother is a single mum..and if the circumstances under which she became a single mum were/was the fault of her spouse/partner then woe betides the kids cos they would be blamed for everything ..through beatings,insults,knocks on the head,deprivation of essential things needed, mental abuse and more beatings! !!..you're forced to hawk to be able get #food to eat..I feel very bad when I see kids selling on the streets I get upset cos they're paying for the mistakes of a grown-up somewhere .I've experienced hawking at a very young age and it wasn't cool..it was dangerous cos of the roads we crossed,at night it was crazy,we were left to the mercy of paedophiles and thieves..it's not the kid's fault and they shouldn't have to be put through that!..and it must STOP !. .it's not safe out there and kids should be home safe under the protection of their parents..there are lots of sick and wicked and twisted people out there and we need to keep our children away from them..
Today being MOTHERS' DAY brings out mixed feelings and reactions in people all over the world...it's a huge deal for loads of people..for me I can't celebrate it cos I don't have that kind of relationship with ma mum tho she's still in my life today..she never started any intimate connection with me now that I'm grown, it's too late to start it now...and it's a very painful subject for me but I have to talk about it so I feel a little better in my #spirit...I wonder if our parents are aware of the kind of damage they inflict on the kids with their attitudes. ..I really wonder..I think parents should listen more and 'parent' less..kids do what grownups do and not much of what they say..kids look up to their parents for everything cos parents are the first 'people' they get to meet and live with so we better be good examples for them to emulate..
Today was a very very emotional day for me..lemme explain why..few days ago I saw an advert on ETV GHANA asking people to nominate single mothers for a MOTHERS' DAY treat being organized by a Ghanaian actress named Luckie Lawson..I have lots of friends who vend in my area and at the Kaneshie market close to my house so I decided to recommend one to ETV GHANA in a voicenote..this woman lives in a kiosk by the cemetery with her three young kids and still gifts me her wares. .amazing ,right!..infact that's the kind of relationship I've got with all my market-women and men friends..they are always gifting me their ways and I try to return the favor whenever I can..anyway this particular woman has got no electricity nor running water nor much money but she tries to sell fruits or angwamuu (steamed white rice accompanied with fried egg,freshly ground red chilli pepper and tinned sardines..for those who don't know,it's a very delicious Ghanaian delicacy and it's very affordable! )...so ETV accepted my nomination and that's when the drama started!..this woman didn't want to send her picture as required cos she had superstitious beliefs that it could be used for demonic rituals !. .OMG!...later she came back to me to say she'd changed her mind and would take part in the #program cos someone said they knew me well and i wouldn't harm her!..I almost cancelled everything but ETV GHANA called me to bring her for her grooming..the other selected single mums were there yet this woman acted out the whole day ..she wouldn't eat,didn't like her new hairstyle etc and i got home in the evening with a banging headache from the stress!!!!..next day which was MOTHERS' DAY was the dinner for the women..at the dinner the selected women were all giving money,and any accoutrements each needed to help their trade grow..in my friend's thank-you speech she broke down and thanked me for being patient and not giving up on her cos she realised the whole program was harmless...#everyone got emotional and I was just happy I could impact a mother through someone else...I doff my heart to all those who sponsored the program!...good job done!!
Anytime I try/tried to open up about this #issue concerning my relationship with my mum people tried to shut me up..as if i don't know what I'm about..as if i don't know my #left from my #right..as if i don't know #good from #bad...I'm an #adult and i damn well know if someone or something hurt me so please let people feel free to #speak up cos it's damaging to bottle up things and pretend everything's fine..those whose mums who passed when they were kids and had to grow up with a wicked step mum(she's also a woman,right?!) also have their stories..let's be sensitive even if we do not understand it all.
This article is my truth. .my story...my pain...my reality...it's for me and anyone else who can relate...Thanx for reading.. #shalom #mztooknow #gaylesgifts #hibernate
