Obviously almost everyone is aware of the Medikal and Fela Makafui saga that's been in the news for some weeks now. That's what inspired this article. I haven't written an article in about two years now...it was a case of writer's block which is very normal if you're true to your craft. Every artist is inspired by something real and genuine and you have to be true to what message you receive.
Back to the real reason for this rejuvenated spirit to write again. When Medikal and Sister Derby started dating we were all surprised not because it was strange or anything..we were just taken unawares. Quickly they became the talk of the town. Everyone had an opinion about their union..some felt he was too young for her bla bla bla...some thought he was using her to boost his non-existent music career etc. But at the time both of them really cared for each other so anybody else's opinion didn't matter to them.
Suddenly there were rumours about cheating and then Sis Derby herself came out with a track to add fuel to the rumours and then the relationship was over. She herself was blindsided cos I know for a fact she genuinely cared for him. Fela became Medikal's main squeeze and I know that society had a great influence on his decision. They were age mates,so according to societal programming, they were on the right track. There was an interview he gave were he said he liked older women, and counselor Lutterodt talked about it as well. Medikal new what he wanted but he allowed himself to be controlled.
When you listen to Medikal's ranting on social media(I have watched all the videos), he is obviously disappointed and disillusioned..he feels tricked and deceived by the programming society forced on him. He did things because he was compelled to do them not because he liked them but because he was conditioned to do them. Labels can do that to a person who doesn't have a mind of his own...when you allow sentiments and expectations to think for you. He mentioned he had to pay for his wife to have plastic surgery procedures done on/to her body though he emphatically stated he was against it...because he loved natural beauty.
When I look at him I see a young man who was raised like a every young man to be like a robot. Men have to been deceived and made to feel like they can shoulder everything. They're not taught how to express their feelings and emotions healthily..they're told to internalise their grievances because that's what makes them a 'man'. I have male friends who tell me they're are afraid to open up to their women about their problems because the women would think they were weak. Medikal chose social media as his tool of expression because that's where his relationship started and ended. People these days have no idea on how to communicate with their partners..they prefer to use a third medium.
Fela also doesn't know how to express her grievances..she chose aggressiveness...it doesn't mean her feelings should be disregarded or dismissed. Both of them obviously care for each other but are products of the toxic environment they were raised in. And I put the blame solely on our parents and how they just pass on archaic ways of training their kids without caring about the negative effects it has on our kids. Most of our parents abuse us because that's how they were raised. I'm speaking from experience and I'm not excluded from the same training ,and the effects of the traumatic experiences I had growing up as a child has done me more harm than good. Till today I'm still unlearning and relearning everything in my quest to shed off all the toxicity and to also create my own identity.
Lemme state that I don't know if everything Medikal is saying is the truth...but my point is rather about how we raise our kids from infancy based on our genders. When a boy is born he is described as a BOUNCY BABY BOY. The excitement surrounding his birth is different from when a daughter is born. He is trained to expect a woman to clean up after him,to cook for him. I'm amazed that some ancestor started that lie and today people still believe in it and practice it. How can a man believe the way to his heart is through his stomach?? How can you tell me this story?
I've dated men who cannot even bath or clean their undies well because of this same toxic method of training. Cooking,cleaning etc are ways of life..they're not ways of validating a person's value . It is not meant for women alone but for men as well. If you're looking for a potential romantic life partner, you should look for character, accessibility, open -mindedness ,transparency and honesty about the good, bad and ugly. And expect growth and progress because every thing in life doesn't remain stagnant so obviously your partner will change. There is no perfect relationship, but there is a perfect way to live with people...by communicating regularly, stop comparing your relationship to others'...also know that relationships are not natural, it is man-made, and no matter what you do,they don't and won't last forever. Nothing lasts forever. There is a finality to life. We won't live forever. With this mindset at the back of your mind,learn not to be too attached to things and people, live in the moment, stop procrastinating and saving so much for a future that might never come. The future is now. This minute. Get Medikal attention for your NOW. Thanks for reading. Shalom.
