I was at a party few days ago and i was privileged to be in the company of some very influential people...mostly men!...it is a MAN'S WORLD they always say anyway!..So of course the convos veered towards relationships and marriage and love and anything else in between.The most topic we really delved into was men and how they are so into what they see..they almost all agreed it was difficult for a man to be in a monogamous relationship because they were wired to respond to sight yet wouldn't want their female partners to do same.Every man has the woman they love and the rest is for 'play'...so i asked 'if men react to sight how would a women know she was 'the one' for keeps?'...they said 'fuck him,feed him and leave him alone!
And i was like you guys make it sound so easy!..let me try and break it down .....................see if I can enter a man's mind!
1.FUCK HIM.....ofcos!..it goes without saying!...heheheheh....I'm sure every man has his sexual preference..I don't think one man can speak for all men but I'm sure most men have sale things in common...every guy goes for the boobs during foreplay..ladies,am I right?...or am I right!. .*wink wink*......I'm wondering though, is it the amount of times you 'fuck' him or is the quality of the sex that I important to him?...most men complain their women don't participate in the sexual act and that's a deal-breaker for them...phew!....e hard oo! ...if the woman tells you her sexual preference you'll say she's promiscuous or 'rotten ' and if she's 'docile' you'll say she's frigid. ..did we go or did we come (pun intended!)?. .the guys at the party were mostly married but had some side action going on..sidekicks!....are they a blessing or a curse? ...cos some actually 'charge ' for their 'favors'...hmmmm....imagine this..he's married to his wife for 19years,what does he need a side chick for?if he's not getting what he wants from his wife,why be with her for that long? But being together for that long must mean she's worth keeping,right? Unless the wife's sex game got boring or something !help me out here, guys!
2.FEED HIM.....I have always heard from a lot of angles that 'the way to a mans heart is his stomach'..But then i know most women who are top cooks who couldn't keep their man.Unless its a special type of food..or maybe that's why some men end up having affairs with their house helps because they cook their foods?i also heard stories where a man stopped eating his wife's or partner's food because he didn't love her anymore.so maybe there really is a connection there to some point i know they'll say 'men are simple creatures'..eeeerrrrrrmmmmm..............nah!..men are babies but dont want you to be their 'mother' when it suits them...but mothers 'feed' babies,no?....chale,this topic confuses me by the day!maybe in the next life i should 'come' as a man!...maybe I'll have a better understanding of them...that's how fascinated I am by the male specie. ..i think men are an enigma....if you disagree or agree, lets hear your views in the comment box..
3.LEAVE HIM ALONE.......I believe it means don't nag him in anything...as a woman though if u really like a guy I bug him when he upsets me ..in the other hand if i don't give a rat's arse about him whatever he does won't upset me..I won't waste my time letting him know what he did to upset me...so if i 'leave u alone' ,i really LEAVE U ALONE!...I think talking and arguing and fighting is normal cos that's how you'll know each other's buttons...when you know that you learn not to push each other's buttons...every relationship has its good and bad days. .it can be stressful and tasking emotionally and we suffer psychologically. ..admitting it frees your soul..bottling it up kills you slowly inside....when a woman stops nagging men be worried cos it means she's given up on u..doesn't necessarily mean she hates u ,it just means she's tired...so please men,don't ask us to 'leave u alone'...there should be a sort of compromise I think...try and meet us halfway. .we don't choose who [m] we love...we don't need people by accident. .every meeting was meant to happen..so let's not beat ourselves up if things didn't go well...when relationships turn sour maybe it's meant to be...it's not fun but it's life...it's great when both parties want the relationship and fight for it..cos you both feed off each other's vibes ...but when one gives up it doesn't need to be world war two to break things off...it's always hard to let go of what you thought might have been the potential love of your life..it's really hard..feelings cant be faked..most times we pretend it's all good but when we are alone we cry into our pillows..let's be real with our feelings...life is too short to stay mad for long with people we care for cos tomorrow is not promised..we all make mistakes. .we all have our faults...we all have our individual madness...and demons...some scarier than other's. ..but i know that that special person who taught me 'tell the truth and the truth shall set u free' gave me a rare gift...sometimes it doesn't end well cos everyone was raised differently and understands things differently but the truth really sets you free!..and I'll always ALWAYS choose that path!
So men does 'feed him,fuck him,leave him alone' really work?is that all it takes to 'keep' your man?is that why our men always use the 'submission' line on us women?even when it's not feasible? and what about women and what we need our guys to do to keep us?or don't they need to earn our love?what do we get in return if we do all these three things?how about his character?how about how men respond to women's needs?are men and women really meant to be together?cos sometimes relationship causes more harm than good..even the so-called perfect ones leave some damage behind....I have been genuine about my feelings for each and every guy I have ever dated..that i know..but did they know?did they believe me?did they have doubts?or maybe it didn't work cos I didn't give them all three wishes..who knows!...I'll try and do better...do same..my buddy said impatience,repulsion, being argumentative,quick tempered,pretty demanding,materialistic, being unhygienic etc are some of the attributes of a woman that puts men off...but i know most men also have those attributes and most women are put off by them..it goes both ways...he said men are also intimidated by confident women..is it our fault?..being confident doesn't necessarily mean i dont need to be taken care of by a man...it means i am strong enough to support you and be a team..men have their roles and so do women...men can not do everything a woman can do and vice versa..dont get it twisted.men need women and women need men...thanx for reading..#shalom
5 comments:
I always find the argument about polygamous men interesting -- And a cop-out.
I’m sure it’s tough for both parties to stay together. Relationships aren’t natural things.
But that works both ways abi?
If you fuck em, feed em and leave him be, there’s no guarrantee that sex would hold him. As the saying goes, for every gorgeous woman you meet, there’s a guy tired of fucking her.
Feed em. Again problematic. I’m a guy, but seriously who should sit there for you to cook? Surely this is an outdated premise. Also, does food save marriages?
If your cooking is what keeps your hubby returning to you despite women on the side, that eint love, that’s a free lunch.
Finally leave him be? Totally with you on this one. Relationships are about communication. What does the woman stand to gain from a relationship she has to walk around as it were some minefield?
Personally, I say relationships and our ability to commit to them monogamously is a choice. There are bless them, men walking this earth who have and will never cheat in their women or their wives.
I think it’s about time we heard their opinion; and leave the neanderthals to sniff their finger rather than defining the ‘way it is’ for everyone else.
You want to be a dog, go right ahead. But don’t declare it normal.
I recall a particular douche who actually wanted to tell his girlfriend ‘the way it was’ and I gave him a rather stern warning that if he wants to fuck around, he should go right ahead, but hide like the rest of em rather than screwing with the mind of a girl for whom you are her first so that she is convinced that a woman simply has to accept that all men are dogs so you can get a hall pass.
Wow...I agree with u..and yes let the woman know your intentions and stop screwing with her mind!cheers Yaw!
Wish there was a straight jacket that fits all.... but alas there ain't anything like that. Every relationship is different. So let's try and treat it on a case by case basis.
Try and find what makes you happy and live it as an individual. It's true men are attracted by what they see. And it varies from person to person.
For me the most important things are respect and ability to communicate with ones partner.
You didn't leave ur name so I could address you by name..thanx for your submission and yes respect and communication is key in all relationships!
Hmmm! Any relationship without Rocky road is headed for disaster. So the fuck him feed him and leave him alone is a no go for me anyways. Me will always look for excuses why they cheat on their wives. If you want to cheat don't blame her blame ur self for not taking good care of her. What does she have outside that she doesn't have? If she dresses sexy dress your wife sexy. If she has a lovely piercing ask your wife if she would like having a piercing. Stop looking for excuses for cheating. We the men can also fuck her, feed her and make her feel special. I end here for know.
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