Most mothers don't teach their daughters about #sex yet their daughters are told to hold unto their virginity until after marriage..like the success of their marriage rides on just being a #virgin...what irony!...ok,so she manages to 'hold onto' her virginity like some gold throughout the courtship period..the guy goes along with the charade....they fall in #love...get married...on the honeymoon #night she discovers she's got candidiasis and her #vagina stinks to high heavens..what then?...first of all most guys don't even want to be bothered with the trouble of breaking a woman's virginity. .it's a psychologically traumatic experience for every #woman and our men are not wired to deal with that kind of emotion..second of all some guys are so stressed on that night to even 'get it up'...i hear that all the time...and then the woman gets really disappointed cos they have brainwashed to think everything about the #success of a relationship/marriage rode on that moment..these days things are different tho..we a'int got more virgins like before yet we still dont talk openly about sex!
It is also a physically painful experience for her especially if she's not 'ready' mentally and physically..if she happens to have a #husband who's impatient to consummate the union seeing as he's waited that long,thereby not giving her enough time to relax and have her 'juices flowing '...she's not wet and maybe he's got a bigger member and she's got a smaller vagina and wants to force his way in like some fufu-pounder in some chop bar at the Kaneshie market, pounding away at the boiled cassava like there's no tomorrow!..those guys are so muscular from all that pounding, and if you 'lef gee them go pound your hand to a pulp'!..so are you just going to lie there like a log so he pounds away?will you tell him how your body responds to his 'game'?..will you tell him what you want him to do your body?...will you tell her you like to be dominated?..will you ask her to 'ride' you or you will just throw her off of your erect #penis when she attempts to awkwardly do so cos she is ignorant and perhaps #shy?..will you be sensitive to her?will you be accommodating of his sexual 'demands'?..these misgivings and more run through our minds if we would be sincere with ourselves.
Sex-talk has been a 'taboo' for so long amongst society and in the homes and in the #schools...infact everywhere!..In schools during biology classes we would just broach the subject..I remember the teacher asked the class for those who'd started having #periods to stand up to b introduced like they'd won the lottery..back then it seemed a #big deal but on hindsight I think it was a very stupid thing cos it only brought attention to them and gave the boys more reason to just tease the girls...that topic left me non the wiser ..i hadn't started my period yet and had no clue as to what it was...I was a 'late bloomer'...had my period during the last days of my O level period (no pun intended!)..I was like 15 I think which was 'old' cos most girls start like age 11,some even as early as 9yrs old. .I finished O level with my chest still as flat as my back..meaning i didn't have #breasts...i didn't understand why and so i actually used to pray for breasts!..i would pray for even the tiniest ones just to feel like a woman ..i didn't know it was just normal to be 'late'..i was scared I'll never develops breasts!...that's how ignorant I was about the #female body...now that i have breasts,today being 'no-bra day' i can fully participate cos wearing no bra on a 'breastless' chest on a no-bra day,is that one too a 'no-bra' distin?!!!...hahahahahah.
I remember when my period finally 'happened' I was at one of those entertainment sessions in school we used to refer to as 'variety shows'...they had all kinds of activities going on in there ..singing,dancing and what-nots..kids got into all kinds of shenanigans during these sessions...I used to attend them even though I didn't have money for entry fee ..oh yes,you had to pay to enter cos the'organizers' had to fix the dining hall ,etc..but come to think of it,why were they charging an entry fee to a show organized by students for students in a school space?!!!beats me!.1 wanted to get out of the #house sometimes so i guess it was a better option for me....back to my story..so I'd just sit outside the building and imagine what was going on in those shows cos I could hear the music since the hall wasn't soundproof. .doesn't make any sense now but it did back then...I always felt so fulfilled after the 'show'....things we do for pleasure!!!
So it was during one of these shows that I started feeling funny in my abdomen...I thought it was something bad i'd eaten that didn't agree with my tummy...after I couldn't ignore it any longer I visited the john and realized I had discharged some reddish stuff into my undies...I panicked...I had a little idea of periods from the crappy biology 'education' I'd had coupla years ago during my O levels but I wasn't prepared for this...guess what I did,I fixed a folded newspaper in my drawers and went home..case solved! ...heheheheh...wasn't funny back then though!...I never told any one,not even my mum about the experience..cos i didn't know how to broach the subject..what do i say?..how do i start that convo since she had never brought it up...I had to teach myself on how to take care of myself during these periods (pun intended!). ..items to use...e.g. pads ,tampons,feminine washes..some of these products I started using later on in life when I got older and more experienced and more financially stable cos these things ain't cheap and to think you buy them every month or in bulk...before that i used cotton,pieces of cloths,old socks (my aunt introduced me to that one..lol).....having periods cost money cos you'll need them every damn month!...aside the physical symptoms of abdominal pains,heavy bleeding,bloating,diarrhea,tender nipples,nausea ..etc ...you've got to deal with the emotional bits too..it's called PMS (pre-menstrual syndrome)...some women get irritated easily,moods go up and down (someone would say it's like that for women 24/7,periods or not!)....
It is very important as a woman to know your #menstrual cycle...most women don't know it not to talk of understanding it..every woman's cycle is different. ..symptoms are also exclusive to each woman...during these times (I'm trying to use the word 'periods' less often in this write-up..catch my drift?..*wink wink*) personal hygiene should be extra. .keeping a pad on or a tampon in for too long has it's own consequences. .most importantly they smell bad...really foul smell....change your pads often,use vaginal washes and wipes,wear dark drawers,and when u wash them hang then in the sun...when u wash your #vagina, spend extra time on the lips and the pubic hairs (that's if you keep a forest..*wink wink*.....or even a Mohawk!)...and always do a sniff test afterwards...it's very necessary! You should study your #body as a woman.explore your whole body. .stand in front of a mirror and examine every bit,even your pubes ....know what turns you on..most women are uncomfortable with touching themselves but it's got to be done ..if you don't know what turns you on how would you 'show ' your man?..a lot of women are sexually ignorant and unsatisfied and it shouldn't be so. ..i cant advice men cos what do i know?!!!..so YOYO!..you are on your own..sorry!..lol
Our mothers didn't #teach us cos they didn't know any better...their #mothers didn't teach them either...hmmmm....sex is important so why cant we talk about it?!!!!.....why don't we talk about it openly without cringing. .why can't we talk about it without having to feel like a you're a slut or something...it's so frustratingly frustrating!.we don't wana talk about it yet we do have #sex..every one of us on this planet was born as a result of sex between our parents..people have all kinds of sexual preferences...some weird. .some kinky. .some boring..some down right scary!..to each his own!...we can't ignore sex and its consequences'..its #pleasures...its benefits..our young #women coming up are the ones i weep for cos they don't have any better example to emulate...the girls are ignorant and the boys expect them to know what sexual acts to perform on them and even how to respond..go figure!..our generation should sit up..we should read more and impart it on/to them....they need it...women need it...some women wont complain seeing as they are in the dark..they don't know what they are missing...sex education is a must..for health reasons..for hygienic reasons.. for pleasure..for procreation..for empowerment...i could go on!...I am always all about #womenempowerment...call me a #feminist...I will thank you!....shalom....#gaylesgifts #gaylesgold #sextalk #talksex
No comments:
Post a Comment