STRINGS....OR NOT!

A friend just asked me this and it got my writing creative juices flowing!it is a very normal question to be asked these day and age especially since the dynamics of dating and relationships have evolved..in the African setting in the olden days the man was always the head of the home...and the woman was the home-keeper..she wasn't career oriented...or even if she was she wasn't encouraged because society wasn't ready to accept equalization between men and women...the man provided and the woman managed..so educating the girl-child was unheard of..in fact it was  a taboo... so the woman kept the home,which was in a way a full time job for her..everyone played their role well..or so it seemed!...most women lamented their woes  because they wanted to be independent...they wanted to do things for themselves. .they wanted to explore their passions and talents..these days it's been made possible with the inception of technology. ..The internet has made the world a global place..women have been empowered with knowledge and confidence and the acceptance level from society is almost complete
      In every situation though there's always pros and cons. .now there's a sort of tug-of-war between men and women for equality  at home,in work places ,in relationships..etc...women now know what they want and are standing their grounds..in relationships it's worse because it's put men at a disadvantage. .they don't get total control over the woman and egos are bruised and suffering!...I almost feel sorry for them but it is what it is!...women were settling into early marriages and relationships because they were not equipped with much education and confidence and support to do anything else with their lives..as young as 18 was the maximum. .now women are getting into late marriages and childbirth ..from mid thirties onwards..some are even having first babies in their fifties..there's so much distractions with work etc...and social media ain't helping any...it's made people unfeeling..just like robots.
      Relationships nowadays are all about selfish gain..me-me-me syndrome, I choose to call it..it's either for financial gain,or even for just a baby..before married mothers won't dream of cheating on their men but that is a thing of the past now.women couldn't cheat or they hid it  because society frowned upon it..it was a man's world they said..double-standards is what i say!...men are being tricked to father and raise up babies which are not theirs...human interactions and compassion have been relegated to a back burner collecting dust...dating has names like 'fuck-buddy, friends-with-benefits (fwb), shag-mate....or they'll say we are 'hooking up' or 'hanging out' or 'just chilling'..if you are old school like me you would be lost in all of that! I am your typical traditional woman who still believes in courtships and the whole nine yards..all hope is not lost!..my favorite is the 'no-strings' phrase because it's so ironic in as there are invisible 'strings' involved..if you wana shag exclusively that's a relationship..you see what I mean?....'invisible strings ' right there!....it's really difficult in our African setting to 'cultivate' that type of relationship..people do that to avoid getting vulnerable or emotional hurt .
    A friend of mine thinks he's perfected the right 'blend' for that ..he calls it the 'hit and run' act. .you shag once and disappear!..no history and no emotions....its kinda funny thinking about it...on the other hand though,being sexually active with someone for more than once builds emotions and history and the 'no strings' theory goes out the window...sometimes just even one sexual encounter can create emotions..the woman can get pregnant and the baby links you guys together for life...it's like a #catch 22 situation...you want to avoid emotions but end up creating them..it is what it is...relationships are beautiful and are not without pitfalls ...I always say any human relations are never perfect because everyone was raised different and we all have our good and bad days...#communication is the key...dont be afraid to let down your guard sometimes..be adventurous. .follow your heart. .live on the edge...because YOLO!...You only live once..make it count..shalom